I'm not going to rant about enrollment or anything school-related today because that's just weird. What's even weirder is apparently, people were quite disoriented today, especially my mom and my sister. Okay, I totally understand that Mom has a tendency to ask the silliest questions in the world, but my sister? She's practically the perfect daughter personified. Huh. So anyway.

We were having dinner with our grandparents a couple of hours ago, and Sweet and I were bored out of our skulls because we finished early. She asked me why the Chinese inscriptions on the wall were shorter than the English ones, and I had to guess so I said they were phrases--hey, I'm not Chinese and I'm not taking any Mandarin classes so who was I to know? She just looked at me then and it was amusing because without thinking, I asked her, "You do know what phrases are, right?"

And GASP.

The unexpected happened.

Bobby laughed.

Like, really laughed.

Which--if you know who my annoying brother actually is-- is almost hard to do. So basically, I was gaping at him and he kicked me under the table. *grumbles* That was so childish. Sigh. But whoa. First he laughs at Dean's antics in Supernatural then he laughs at my sister. Heh. Weird.

So anyway.

I'm beginning to dislike hospitals now. I'm never going to wait n number of hours in one ever again. Apparently, my enemy is boredom and it has a secret weapon. SLEEP. And since I didn't sleep at all the night before, I was practically begging for it. Oh man. I dozed off. Sheesh.

***

TECHNOLOGY

1. What is your wallpaper on your computer?



2. How many televisions you have in your house?
Five: parents', Bobby's,  mine, living room and dining room.


BIOLOGY

3. Are you right-handed or left-handed?
left-handed, for most activities

4. Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
no

5. What is the last heavy item you lifted?
my little brother, who's not as light as you think. heh.

6. Have you ever been knocked out?
by meds, probably. but otherwise, no.


BULLS**TOLOGY

7. If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
Nah. I don't really mind not knowing. That takes the excitement out of surprises.

8. If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
Sorry, but I'm fine with my name.

9. What color do you think looks best on you?
As long as it's not a pale shade, I think.

10. Have you ever swallowed a non-food item?
Yeah. They're called beverages. :D <-- To Avril: Smartass. Haha.

DAREOLOGY

11. Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100?
Sure. You didn't specify that it had to be on the mouth anyway. I could do it on the hand.

12. Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000?
No way.

13. Would you never blog again for $50,000?
Yeah.

14. Would you pose naked in a magazine for $250,000?
Nope

15. Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
Hah. I probably will, for free. :)) I'm insane.

16. Would you, without fear of punishment, take a human life for $1,000,000?
Depends on what he's done or what the consequences will be--not necessarily punishment, mind you-- when he does die.


DUMBOLOGY

17. What is in your left pocket?
Nothing.

18. Is Napoleon Dynamite actually a good movie?
Ask me when I've actually seen it. I don't think I have, then again I watch movies without bothering to know the titles so... *shrug*

19. Do you have hardwood or carpet in your house?
Carpet

20. Do you sit or stand in the shower?
Stand.

21. How many pairs of flip-flops do you own?
None. I'm not a fan of flip-flops.


LASTOLOGY

22. Last person who texted you?
Yana, a GM, I think.

23. Last person who called you?
Kuya Abel, couple of days ago

24. Person you hugged?
My little brother. He was crying when I left to go home today. He stayed with our grandparents, eh. Poor kid.


FAVORITOLOGY

25. Number?
23

26. Season?
Winter, which we don't even have.

27. Color?
Blue, green, silver and black.


CURRENTOLOGY

28. Missing someone?
No

29. Mood?
Tired/sleepy

30. Listening to?
the electric fan. huh.

31. Watching?
nothing. It's Tuesday, therefore there's nothing good to watch.

32. Worrying about?
Batangas outing this week and the PIDC

33. Wearing?
nightclothes


RANDOMOLOGY

34. First place you went this morning?
the makeshift bed downstairs to grab some shut-eye

35. What can you not wait to do?
debate training tomorrow morning

36. Do you smile often?
Depends. If I'm with my friends, I guess I do. If not, then no. 

37. Are you a friendly person?
Not particularly.


(Stolen from the Avril who stole it from Emil)

WHICH IS WORSE?


Being stuck alone during a blizzard / being lost alone in the desert:
- Desert. It's hot and there are sandstorms. Plus there are animals that might kill you. And uh, rattlesnakes. Eh.

Stuck on top of a roller coaster / stuck in a crowded elevator:
-  Elevator. Urgh. Too many people=gets hot and noisy. <-- Hear, hear. Also, there's less oxygen to breathe in.

Stubbing your toe / biting your tongue:
- Stubbing your toe. It just is.
   
Finding a crinkly hair in your food / finding an insect in your food:
- Oi. This is easy. Insect, of course. Sanitation, please?

Throwing up all day / having diarrhea all day:
- Diarrhea all day. But both options... are just gross.
   
A friend who won't shut up / a friend who has an annoying voice:
- A friend who has an annoying voice. It unnerves me, I guess. And most of the time, I haven't slept much so I'd already be short-tempered when I listen. That would be a problem. Me and annoying voices--like hangover and sunlight, migraine and noise.

Born with no arms / born with no legs:
- No legs, I guess.

Being blind / being deaf:
- Being deaf. At least I can still read and write. That would be depressing, though--not being able to hear.
   
Having to stand all day / having to sit all day    :
- Having to stand all day. You can do other stuff while you're seated.

Being stranded in the ocean / being stranded in the desert:
- Being stranded in the desert. I loathe the heat. <=I totally agree <-- Yeah, me, too.

Regretting something / wishing you had done something:
- Either, or. They're of equal footing.

Being in a place too loud / being in a place too quiet:
- Being in a place too loud. While I like to see activity, I don't exactly like noise or extremely loud environments.

Your cell phone ringing in silence / laughing uncontrollably in silence:
- HUH.
   
Getting your butt sunburned / getting poison ivy on your butt:
- Sunburn. Haha.
   
105 degrees weather with no AC / 25 degrees weather with no heater:
- 105 degrees weather with no AC. I despise the heat, remember? Besides, I've always thought it better to freeze to death.

Kissing a stranger / kissing your best friend:
- Hrm. Iris...? O_o No thanks. Is the stranger hot? He'd better be. <----WHAT?!!! Dude, I don't like you that way.
- Kissing a stranger. Because dude, kissing Avril or Niko would just be so wrong.

Dad being a cult leader / mom being a prostitute:
- Dad being a cult leader. Don't know why. Haha.

Being buried alive / being stretched until you split in half:
- Being buried alive. Being stretched until you split in half is painful, but it beats the panic from setting in and you know, eventually dying because you ran out of air. At least you die screaming. Heh. That is so twisted.

Having all your toenails pulled out 1 by 1 / having your teeth pulled out:
- ... huh. BOTH!

One class period in the nude / attending the whole day in underwear:
- one class period in the nude.

A roommate who snores all night / talks on the phone all night:
- snores. I can tolerate the talking.

Bleeding to death / starving to death:
- Starving to death. That's just helpless, you know?

Walking on broken glass / walking on coal:
- Walking on coal, assuming that it is lighted on.

A very good house in a bad location / a very bad house in a good location:
- Either, or.
   
Being allergic to the sun / being allergic to water:
- Being allergic to water is way worse. I can avoid the sun, use umbrellas, etc.

Listening to polka 72 hours straight / listening to goth metal for 72 hour:
- Goth metal. I can ignore polka. But goth metal, no.

Dying your hair bright orange by accident / accidentally dying your eyebrows:
- Accidentally dying your eyebrows. Besides, my hair's seen crazy styles in the past. Dying it orange won't be that much of a stretch.

Having to wait a long time to urinate / having to wait a long time to ‘unload’:
- Huh. Latter.
   
Getting a bad hair cut / accidentally shaving your eyebrows:
- Accidentally shaving your eyebrows.

Having bad breath / bad B.O.:
- Bad B.O. Hello Polo Mints.

***

(I know what you're thinking. 'Oh no, not another I-can't-sleep post from me' post. I'm not sure if it actually is about sleeping, or anything remotely related to sleeping, but hey, if I mention it a couple of times, then I'm probably just wasting time.)

So anyway, we're going to be basically gone this Holy Week. If not for the Batangas trip that we'll be having starting on early--like really early-- Thursday morning until Saturday, we'll be having training for the PIDC. We've trained in the past and we've talked about quite a lot of issues now. But the thing is, we still haven't trained as a team yet. Sure, Ate Camille was there, along with Ate Bea and Ate Macky. But Ate Kasey, Ate Ira and Ate Justine aren't there most of the time, which actually scares me. Because I'm worried for them. And well, I tend to worry about stuff like this so I'm actually, honestly stressed out.

I know for a fact that they *can* do it. I've never doubted their abilities. It's just that, we've changed team-ups and I don't want them to be uncomfortable with having new deputies for their teams. So yes, I'm worried.

Sometimes I wish that debate isn't as complicated as it is. Sometimes I even think about how it was actually easy just to compete as an individual, like in Journ, where they'll just add all the points the students managed to garner by winning in their respective categories. Although it's easier, it doens't necessarily equate to improving because Journ was a high school thing for me. I don't think I can still be interested in it now. That's why I also feel bad for comparing it with debate. Debate has its perks and the company is worth spending my summer on. Therefore, it's not really much of a sacrifice but more of a hobby.

Now that I've cleared that issue--oh hell, did that sound like it came from a debate speech? Eh. o.O (I'm turning into a geek. *sigh*)

Angelo passed Ateneo, which is a good thing. I'm not sure if he plans to study there, though, only that he sorta wants to. Wanting and planning are two different things, I've gathered. So the thing is, I really do hope he studies there because as much as Miriam is interesting, I really do miss talking with people I've met in high school. The good thing there would be, we're basically neighbors--like Avril, but Avril's farther. Angelo and I also kinda had this agreement back in high school that should he pass, we'll be spending our breaks with each other practically annoying each other.

Yes, how sad our lives are.

So yeah. That's why I'm happy for the guy, I guess. Heh. And I can tease him with--*cough* Not telling. :)

XXX

I really intend to sleep. I just don't want to right now. Then again, I have to wake up at 4 a.m. because we have to go to our grandparents today. Unfortunately, it's almost 2-ish so... that leaves me less time to actually sleep peacefully, right? HAH. I don't have to sleep anymore.

Got this from Bea (congratulations, btw) and I plan to answer this because I really cannot sleep earlier than 3 a.m. anymore. So, yeah. Haha.


TEN things you wish you could say to TEN different people right now: [This is going to be fun.]

10.  The thing is, just because you know who I was in high school doesn't necessarily mean you know me now.
9.   I thought it was easy forgetting you. Apparently, I'm wrong and I really miss you like hell. How are you going to react if I tell you that I'm basically doing what you spent months convincing me to do?
8.  Thanks.
7.  There's only so much that we can do for people, so don't stress about them too much.
6.  It's not about fearing people, but fearing what they can do when you're most vulnerable. And that's something you can't answer even though you basically watched me grow up.
5.  You have no idea how hard it is to be a daughter who's not even the slightest like her mom or dad. You really don't.
4.  The answer's simple: suck it up.
3.  Have fun!
2.  I'm glad I outgrew that silly crush I had on you. Seriously. Not in a bad way.
1.  Dude, look, it's Castiel and Dean!!!

NINE things about yourself:
9.  I tend to obsess.
8.  I spend hours just thinking about one thing.
7.  Coffee used to be my best friend, until I discovered the beauty of orange juice.
6.  My people skills suck. Unless I'm talking about debate, or am talking with friends.
5.  I used to think that it rains because God cries. (I was a kid!)
4.  As much as someone would love the fact that I'm an atheist, I'm not. I just don't believe in church traditions.
3.  I rarely sleep early. And when I do, it's only because I was exhausted.
2.  I'm sarcastic, but only when I want to. At least, that's what I think.
1.  I can talk about everything and anything that I can think of one time, then have nothing to say after that.

EIGHT ways to win your heart: (RIGHT. o.O)
8. Be there.
7. Make me smile without trying to. (Eh. Now that it's been phrased this way, I feel that it's so eeeh.... cheesy.)
6. Be honest.
5. Talk. OR at least listen. Bad enough I can't talk unless it's debate or Supernatural, but worse if you don't actually participate. That'd be like talking to a wall, which I seem to be capable of doing. Like, literally.
4. You must know how to start/win prank wars.
3. Survive my best friend's eh.. conversation with you. (Avril, you're not allowed to kill whoever he is.)
2. Must know what Supernatural is, and who Dean, Castiel and Sam are. Haha. Just kidding. Still. 
1. Be yourself.

(Heh. Scrapbook. Grade school-ish much?)

SEVEN things that cross your mind a lot: (OH, you really need to ask this question? Hah.)
7. dad
6. high school stuff 
5. Supernatural (duh.)
4. Dean and Castiel (no, seriously)
3. Batangas outing 
2. debate
1. PIDC

SIX things you do before you fall asleep:
6. Fixate on something.
5. Write whatever comes up in #6. 
4. Charge my phone.
3. Listen to music.
2. Read a fic.
1. Check the news.

FIVE people who mean a lot at the moment: [I'm putting groups.]
5. Angelo
4. Niko and Myrza 
3. debate team
2. Ave and Duane
1. family

FOUR things you see right now:
4. wall
3. monitor (duh)
2. camera
1. cellphone

THREE songs that you listen to often at the moment:
3. Who I Am Hates Who I've Been - Relient K
2. 4 A.M. Forever - Lost Prophets  
1. You Found Me - The Fray

TWO things you want to do before you die:
2. Burn whatever journals I have left/Take down all my e-mail accounts and my LJ
1. Say goodbye. 

Today's so far been great. Training was a bit productive and we were able to see how we function as a pair--me and Ate Camille, anyway-- but I guess right now even the thought of smoking will make me sick. There's just something about cigarette smoke that makes me sick somehow. Which is weird, because I don't smoke. Heh.

Anyway.

I had this really weird dream last night where Daniel and I were uhh... "going out". The thing was, after we've basically talked about what was really going on, when we opened the door, we saw Ms. Adame. The funny--and utterly disturbing--thing was, she started lecturing on the cons of dating and the normal Ms. Adame stuff. Gah. I woke up afterwards. WEIRD.

So yeah.

Angelo passed Ateneo! I don't even have the right words to use to describe how happy I am for him. But anyway, since Mom's calling me to watch Supernatural with her--Dad's not here, after all-- I'll go rant about Angelo and Ateneo some other day. He doesn't even have to know that I'm quite afraid of his eh, future school's debate society. Haha.

So.

Okay.

I just realized. For training this afternoon, we debated on whether the blacklisting of the Philippines by the G20 was justified or not. I felt like a nerd for saying it, but heh. It feels good to debate about a current event. Lol.

93. Heaven: Yeah, but not for me.

94. Santa Claus: No

95. Sex on the first date: Irrelevant.

96. Kiss on the first date: Yeah, whatever.


ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:

97. Is there one person you want to be with right now? Yes

98. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life? Yes, No.

99. Do you believe in God? Yeah, but sometimes I don't want to.

100. Post as 100 truths and tag 10 people.


TAG:

1. Niko P.
2. Avril
3. Duane (Yes, I know you've done this before but still!)
4. Myrza
5. Yana
6. Ate Kasey
7. Ate Vita
8.
9.
10. Whoever.

Why do people go?

Why do they leave?

Why can't they stay?

I feel like a child for asking such pointless questions but damn it, I feel bad that I can't do anything about it anyway. While I'm stuck in a world where debate, school affairs and family matters, I'm just basically helpless whenever my friends need something and I can't even give them that. But I'm also sick of people accusing me that I can't keep my friends together because I tried and my efforts basically tried to ruin my grades once upon a time. So I'm sorry for not trying "well enough" or that I apparently have troubles reading people's intentions, but maybe they can stop being so vague about things and realize that I can't adjust to all of them every time.

And I have shortcomings. I'm human, and I have my own share of problems. Sometimes it's hard to keep up with what's going on in their lives, but it's not an excuse. However, I can't stand the fact that I've tried my best to either stand in the sidelines because they wanted me to or breach this barrier that's suddenly between us because it's what I should do and yet, I'm still at fault. And yet, I haven't done enough.

So really. You know who you are, and I don't understand why your friends are willing to hound on me like I'm some sort of worthless object. But really, what the hell do you want me to do?

XXX

For Mak:

The entry above isn't about you. That's for someone else. But know that we *will* be here for you no matter what your final decision may be. I'm sorry for not being there all the time, but I do promise that that won't happen in the future.

 

Well, that's just unfair.

In the first place, if he hadn't pushed everyone else away, they wouldn't have gone. So basically, it's not completely their fault. He is partly to blame, as well.

Ugh.

To distract me:


CASTIEL!

Okay. I'm distracted now.

I've been busy. Nothing surprising about that... but with what just happened, I feel that there's a storm brewing somewhere and wherever it is, it'll eventually hit us and I don't know if we'll still be there once it leaves.

One thing I realized from what just happened is, as much as marriage is nice and all, I still think it's not worth the effort. And I guess it sucks for the person if everyone else is terrified just by hearing his voice. I mean, seriously, how do people like him live through each day knowing that the people who's supposed to love him unconditionally and accept him for who he is actually fear him?

That's just sad.

And what's even more depressing is ch131.com is going loco on me and apparently refuses to let me finish episode 16 of Supernatural. Well, okay, I've already seen it before but I haven't seen that part where Castiel gets all sad and betrayed. Oh. I just came up with another plot. Oh hell. If this continues, I'll be so distracted later this morning I won't be able to debate properly!

(Now, now, why is being distracted by Castiel--of all creatures--such a bad thing?)

So basically, my week's been a huge glob of something. I feel bad for my friend and I wish I can do something but it's up to her parents and herself to appeal for retention. I hope it works. I think tomorrow's -- or well, today's-- going to be quite a mess after that stupid phonecall.

I hate late night phone calls from now on. Like, SERIOUSLY.

Anyway, stole this from Avey (again):


***

IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE? Taken from Theresa.
So, here's how it works:

1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool... and a lot of the songs fit with the setting


Opening Credits:
Moondance - Michael Buble

Waking Up:
Your Body is a Wonderland - John Mayer (WTF?!)

First Day At School:
My Wish - Rascal Flatts (Wow, inspiring.)

Falling In Love:
How to Save a Life - The Fray (DAMN IT. Ouch. If you don't know who he is, you won't understand.)

Fight Song:
You Found Me - The Fray (Oh. Somehow it makes sense. Somehow it also doesn't. Huh. Weird.)

Breaking Up:
This Photograph is Proof - Taking Back Sunday

Prom:
Our Song - Taylor Swift (Eh.)

Life:
How to Save a Life - The Fray (Again with this song. GAWD.)

Mental Breakdown:
Use Somebody - King of Leon (Huh, right.)

Driving:
Even Angels Fall - Vanessa Carlton (Hmm... angels... Castiel!)

Flashback:
Waiting on the World to Change - John Mayer

Getting back together:
Let Me In - Mike Francis (Oh, hey. That actually fits the category!)

Wedding:
Love Song - Monica and Chris Kane (Hah. Also another song that fits its category. Yey.)

Birth of Child:
Friends - Mike Francis and Amy Stewart

Final Battle:
More Than I Deserve - Chris Kane (Oooooh. Angsty. Haha.)

Death Scene:
My Wish - Rascal Flatts (Again. But this fits.)

Funeral Song:
Now that My Love is Gone - Steve Carlson (HUH.)

End Credits:
Made of Steel - Our Lady Peace

Rules:
*Turn your music on shuffle and the song it shows next will be the answer to each question.
*Make a new question


1. What kind of future in love are you looking at?
Who I Am Hates Who I've Been - Relient K (Hmm...)

2. How about your academic life?
Gemini - Spongecola (Let me know if I'm doing this right, let me know if my grip's too tight... Wow, it fits. Sort of.)

3. What does the day hold in store for you?
This Photograph is Proof - Taking Back Sunday (Eh.)

4. How you doin' in da bling department?
Our Song - Taylor Swift (Great. Country.)

5. How do people see you?
LA Song - Chris Kane (Probably.)

6. What is your character song?
You and Me - Lifehouse (Okay, seriously, what the hell?)

7. What do you think of love?
Love Song - Monica and Chris Kane (It can work, but that isn't my real answer.)

8. How will you meet your untimely (or maybe timely) end?
Nothing Lasts Forever - Maroon 5 (So... uhh...)

9. How are you in bed?
This Love - Maroon 5 (WTF.)

10. How's your partner in bed?
From Yesterday - 30 Seconds to Mars (LOL. That's funny.)

11. Do you have any unhealthy habits?
I Love You Goodbye - Nina (First of all, who the hell added her to my playlist?!! Second, what the hell?!)

12. If you ever get arrested what wil it be for?
Wordplay - Jason Mraz (Funny. Hah.)

13. If you eat your next meal how will you feel?
She Will Be Loved - Maroon 5 (It's hilarious. Seriously. Laugh with me here, people!)

14. You've just witnessed a huge accident, what do you think first?
Save the Last Dance for Me - Michael Buble (I told you, there's something wrong with my playlist. I mean, seriously? Haha)

Rules: Put your music player on shuffle, let the songs answer the questions.

1. What’s my mood like right now?
Breathing - Yellowcard
Comment : Hmm. "Even though you're beside me, I still feel alone."

2. How’s tomorrow going to be for me?
Crazy Love - Jason Manns and -- JENSEN ACKLES
Comment : Ooooh. Jensen has a nice voice. I'm swooning. Hahahaha. Wait, what's the question again?

3. What kind of person am I?
Two Occassions - The Deedle
Comment : It was a fanvid that I conveniently converted into mp3 so... Sam and Dean! Haha. But seriously: "I only think of you on two occassions; that's day and night..." Wow. Obsessive much.

4. Am I loved?
You Found Me - The Fray
Comment : Exactly. Haha. "Where were you when everything was falling apart?" "Lost and insecure, you found me." Wow. Hahaha.

5. How can I achieve my highest potential?
LA Song - Chris Kane
Comment : Eh. That doesn't make sense.

6. What should I do with my life?
Moondance - Michael Buble
Comment : Crazy dancing. Weird.

7. Is everything going to be alright in the end?
Beautiful Lie - 30 Seconds to Mars
Comment : Well, that answers the question.

8. What is my best quality?
Makes Me Wonder - Maroon 5
Comment : So... what is it exactly?

9. How does my sex life look?
Gemini - Spongecola
Comment : That's nice. "Let me know if I can stay all of my life, let me know if dreams can come true.." Okay, too romantic for my liking but hey, the song's nice.

10. What’s the meaning of life?
Cyclone - Baby Bash ft. T-Pain
Comment : Yes, that is totally the meaning of life. Come on, laugh. LAUGH!! Haha. :)

11. What do people think of me?
4 A.M. Forever - Lost Prophets
Comment : "Yesterday I lost my closes friend. Yesterday I wanted time to end" "Why don't you hear me when I'm calling out to you?" Oh wow. OUCH.

12. Would I make a good lover?
How to Save a Life - The Fray
Comment : Apparently not.

13. How crazy am I?
Use Somebody - King of Leon
Comment : Fear me. *growl* ROFL

14. Will I have a good life in general?
Let Me In - Mike Francis
Comment : Hmm. Second chances.

15. Can he/she ever really love me?
This Love - Maroon 5
Comment : ...

16. Can me and him/her ever be more than friends?
Nothing Lasts Forever - Maroon 5
Comment : Who knows?

17. What’s going to happen to me this week?
Slow Dancing in a Burning Room - John Mayer
Comment : Ouch. Like, seriously. "It's not a silly little moment; it's not the storm before the calm; this is the deep and dying breath of this love that we've been working on."

18. Where will I be a year from now?
Careless Whispers - Wham
Comment : Aside from the total gayness of the song, WTF?!

19. What is my fondest wish?
Thriller - Michael Jackson
Comment : Someone kill me. Now.

20. What is the love of my life doing at this very moment?
Let Me Go - 3 Doors Down
Comment : What.

21. How did my parents meet?
Sway - Michael Buble
Comment : Huh...?

22. How will I die?
Dreaming With A Broken Heart - John Mayer
Comment : Emo. Much.

23. What song will be played at my funeral?
Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go - Wham
Comment : Holy hell. ROFL. That's funny. Imagine me actually saying that. Oh hell Hahahaha.

24. What will happen after I die?
Sumayaw, Sumunod - Boyfriends
Comment : Although I will kill whoever is responsible for putting this in my playlist, this is actually quite hilarious.

25. What will I dream about tonight?
Your Body is a Wonderland - John Mayer
Comment : EEEEEEW. *is traumatized*

26. How does my media player feel about me?
Wake Up Call - Maroon 5
Comment : Erm.

Sorry, but I can't be the one who keeps everything together.
And really, I'm sorry I can't be the person everyone wants me to be.

So please. Just leave me alone.

"I screwed up 42% of my teenage life"

TAG 25 FRIENDS; REMEMBER TO TAG THE PERSON WHO TAGGED YOU!

[ ] Gotten detention.
[ ] Gotten your phone taken away in class.
[ ] Gotten suspended.
[ ] Gotten caught chewing gum.
[ ] Gotten caught cheating on a test.

[x] Arrived late to class more than 5 times. (Of course.)
[x] Didn’t do homework over 5 times
[ ] Turned at least 3 projects in late
[x] Missed school cause you felt like it. (Guilty as charged. Haha.)
[ ] Laughed so loud you got kicked out of class.

Total : 3

[ ] Got your mom / dad etc. to get you out of school.
[ ] Texted people during class
[x] Passed notes.
[x] Threw stuff across the room.
[x] Laughed at the teacher.

Total : 3

[ ] Pulled down the fire alarm.
[ ] Went on myspace , facebook , xanga , etc. on the computer at school.
[ ] Took pictures during school hours.
[ ] Called someone during school hours.
[x] Listened to an iPod , CD , etc. during class.

Total : 1

[ ] Threw something at the teacher.
[x] Went outside the classroom without permission.
[ ] Broke the dress code.
[x] Failed a class
[x] Ate food during class.

Total : 3

[ ] Gotten a call from school.
[ ] Couldn’t go on a field trip cause you behaved badly.
[ ] Didn’t take your stuff to school.
[ ] Gotten a detention and didn't go.
[ ] Stuck up your middle finger at a teacher when they were not looking.
[x] Cursed during class loud enough so the teacher could hear

Total : 1

[x] Faked your parents signature.
[x] Slept in class.
[] Cursed at a teacher to their face.
[x] Copied homework

Total: 3

All total: 14

Multiply by 3 = 42%
Then repost this as "I screwed up _% of my teenage life"

My head feels like it's splitting in two. Seriously. And I'm not surprised, what with the mess we've unwittingly created. Sir Puzon is probably still angry at us. But I can't bring myself to care right now.I know I should be working on the revised letter, or at least reading the notes I've made from debate training. Apparently, I'm doing neither.

So basically, today has been really counterproductive. I'm tired. Again. Hopefully I won't wake up late tomorrow, like I did today or else Sarah would kill me. Then it's another 8-5 for me. Gawd. I'm just glad to be home.

By the way, to anyone who knows about our fundraising activity, it's been canceled. Trouble with the school. Sorry if you bought tickets already.

O.O

That's not a tarsier, by the way.

Just got home couple of minutes ago. Tired. Went to Quesci. It was fun. Spent two hours talking to Duane and Jolo. Then we went to SM to eat shawarma. Good food. Was supposed to take a cab to Galleria but apparently, the traffic was a nightmare so I ended up taking the MRT instead. Went to Mom's office. It was boring. Well, I got to write if it's any consolation and I was texting Jolo and Avril. So. Not a big deal. But yeah, I did want to sleep then. Mom didn't want me to because we were *supposed* to leave at 7. We stayed up later because she was talking to her staff.

Then we went to buy some clothes. It's weird. I'm really a fan of shopping and I usually pick my clothes from just one store. Mom was adamant that we look at other stores, though, so... okay, I'm really grateful my shoes are quite comfy. I cannot fathom the pain I would have to endure if we walk around in 2-inch heels. Heels go with the MC uniform.

Oh. And training.

I kinda panicked on Ate Camillle because I was there at 9:30 and no one was in the Dean's Conference Room so I thought I had gotten the message wrong. Apparently, she was only late and the others weren't going. Anyway. I kinda panicked. Like, seriously. It's embarrassing. (Sorry, Ate Camille!) Then we just talked for uhh, two hours and ate our lunch. Basically, we went to MC to avail of the free aircon and eat our lunch before we go to wherever we're supposed to be in the afternoon.

That's it. I'm exhausted. I'm going to sleep like the dead tonight. Night.

RULES: Pick 10 characters from a fandom--wait for it, wait for it

.
.
.

(Supernatural! HAH) and answer the following questions. 

2) Describe #5 (Dean Winchester) and #1 (John Winchester)'s first kiss. 

-- Holy hell, INCEST! Haha. So I'm thinking, they were probably under some kind of spell because you know, being the Winchesters, they're prone to spells and whatnots. (Did anyone notice how quickly I got over the incest part?) Maybe they got hit with a spell from an incubus or something--believe me, that kind of story is abudant in the fandom-- so their first and most likely last kiss would be under the spell. And uhh. They'll probably shut up about it and never talk about it at all, like EVER. Haha.

3) How would #2 (Uriel) react if #6 (Bobby Singer) were pregnant with #10 (Ash)'s baby? 

-- Now that is hilarious. Like, seriously. And totally unbelievable. But anyway, Uriel would probably be all scrunchy-face and "You disgust me, filthy humans". Assuming he was still alive when this (hypothetically) happens, anyway. Since you know, he had gotten his ass kicked by the ex-angel Anna who saved Castiel, who never ever won a fist fight with anyone.

-- I'm suddenly thinking of Castiel being a weird damsel in distress. HAHA.

4) How does #8 (Jo) convince #7 (Castiel) to go with him/her on a date? 

-- OMG. That is funny. Assuming that they've somehow met, Jo would probably flirt like the way she does with Dean but Castiel would just tilt his head in that adorable manner, all confused, and say, "What exactly are you saying?". Or something like that. Castiel is clueless, remember?

5) Where would #9 (Ellen) and )#6 (Bobby) go for their honeymoon? How would #4 (Ruby) sabotage their honeymoon? 

-- Now, that is slightly believable. They'd probably go to uhh... somewhere that's surrounded by iron so that Ruby, being demon and therefore unable to cross anything with iron, won't be able to sabotage it. Clever, Bobby. Very clever.

6) #6 (Bobby) is in love with #1 (John Winchester). #3 (Sam Winchester) confesses his/her love to #6 (Bobby). Whom will #6 pick? 

-- Well, duh. He'll always pick John Winchester-- I mean, really. I swear, I think in another world, he would have a serious man-crush on the guy. Haha. I'm insane. Besides, Sam's going to end up with Dean or Castiel or uhh... Ruby, anyway. Or, he'll probably end up with no one because Dean ends up with Castiel. So. Uh... what was the question again?

7) #5 (Dean) and #2 (Uriel) must pretend to be a married couple. Why? 

-- Castiel's in danger because Uriel, being the sucky bad-ass angel that he is, is incapable of looking after his fellow angel. Castiel is kept in a building where married people go for counselling. Sam's been captured, by the way, so Dean can't go with Sam. So, they have to pretend if they dont' want Castiel to be in danger.

 8) #2 (Uriel) is moving in with #4 (Ruby). What do they fight about the most?

-- Dude, duh. The guy's an angel who loathes humans but demons even more. And Ruby's a demon who was once a human witch. Get the picture? 

9) How will #4 (Ruby) prove his/her love to #1 (John Winchester)? 

-- Oh hell, no way. But for the purpose of answering this, she's going to let him exorcise her or something just to prove that she really does care.

10) #7 (Castiel) and #4 (Ruby). Love at first sight? 

-- NO~!!!!!! Castiel belongs to Dean; Ruby belongs to Sam, period.

11) What would #7 (Castiel) give #4 (Ruby) for Valentine's Day? 

-- a bible.

-- It's funny. Seriously. Laugh with me. Haha...

12) Under what circumstances could #3 (Sam Winchester) and #5 (Dean Winchester) have a happy end? 

-- OMG. FINALLY!!

-- There are a *lot* of ways for them to have a happy ending. Canon-wise, we can say that the apocalypse doesn't push through and somehow, Dean isn't attracted to Castiel. So Sam has his affections. Then they can be together after all has ended. Then there's also Sam being evil and kidnapping Dean, taking him hostage forever and well, you know, they just start there. Also, we can pretend that the apocalypse won't happen--therefore, Castiel doesn't happen and the whole Dean going to hell thing doesn't happen as well-- so they can continue being the brothers but secretly lovers that they are.

Has anyone noticed how somehow incest isn't such a bad thing in this fandom?

13) What would #8 (Jo) like to change about #4 (Uriel) Does number #4 (Uriel) approve?

-- His attitude to humans. And of course, Uriel wouldn't approve. He'd be all "Humans thinking they know better than me? HMPH."

14) #2 (Uriel) and #7 (Castiel) are together. Who is more protective of the other? 

-- It depends on whose version of Uriel we're talking about. I don't doubt that Castiel would be protective because as far as he's been written and played, he is quite protective. Uriel, though. He's an asshole--like, seriously-- and in the series, he's a traitor. So. Assuming that he betrayed God for Castiel and thinking he can protect Castiel more if he sides with the stronger one, then I guess they're at par with each other.

-- But since I'm biased, I'll go for Castiel (and seriously, they aren't meant for each other! Castiel belongs to Dean!)

15) Who is going to say I love you first, #1 (John) or #9 (Ellen)?

-- Ellen, definitely. John's like an older version of Dean. Like, act now, talk later or something like that.

16) Describe #10 (Ash) and #4 (Ruby)'s perfect romantic outing.

-- The Roadhouse (that's Ellen's bar)

... then again, Ash's dead so there won't be---- nevermind.

17) Who suffers from pre-wedding jitters, #3 (Sam) or #8 (Jo)? How does bridesmaid/best man #10 (Ash) soothe them?

-- Most definitely, Sam. Haha. He overthinks. So, uhh... Ash is going to tie him up near the altar while Jo prepares and forces Dean to talk to his anxious brother-- well, okay, talk the hell out of the guy.

Number 17 was funnier in my head. What the hell. Like, seriously. Haha.

XDD That was fun. ;)

There's a huge difference between gradually improving and merely pretending to be. I don't want to think that I'm not doing the best that I can but it's more about what I see is what I get. The thing is, it's hard to believe that I'm getting better if I can't even stop myself from panicking just because somehow I'm swayed by the arguments that have been previously raised. I guess if I compare myself to who I was when I started last semester, I've really changed. But it's a small, almost insignificant change and I can't stand the thought of me competing when all I feel at the moment is being basically pathetic.

The idea of wanting to be as good as everyone else is merely saddening because holy hell, here I am again with my self-esteem issues. I don't consider myself having one before, but it's here right now and I can't stop thinking about it. Sometimes I want to hide and be invisible, as if by not being seen, I'll feel better. But I know how that changes nothing. There's still something to face after all the hiding and I'm afraid that when I do come out from whatever place I'm hiding in, I won't be able to solve it anyway.

I don't understand why of all times, I'm feeling this way now. Heck, it never happened in high school. It didn't even happen when I started last year, so what the hell is wrong with me?

Also, why should wanting to do this be so hard to pursue? First, I get all that crap from my dad who thinks me debating would only make me more of a smartass than I already am; then my assistant department chair quite discreetly--maybe implies-- threatens my scholarship if I don't quit the team. And now this. I want to think that my dad understands the concept of training and that whether I want it or not, I will be staying in school rather late from time to time because of that... but when he's all prissy and sulky whenever they fetch me from school, I don't think he understands at all.

What's the big deal, anyway? Isn't it obvious that I am serious with this stuff? I won't be ready to pack my stuff and leave the damn house just so I can debate, if I'm not even serious about it in the first place.

I hope it's not a matter of trust because as far as trust is concerned, I've pretty much been transparent these past months. I think I've shown them that they can trust my friends and that I only leave the house when I have to. What I don't understand is, he knows that my life revolves basically around school and home and yet, he continues--though he doesn't say it loud--that I learn to prioritize.

Well, what the fucking hell.

They can't expect me to choose between the school and my family.

At the same time, no one can also expect me to choose between the debate team and my scholarship.

I guess I'm just frustrated by what's been happening these days. I don't even want to talk about this mess with someone else that I know because last time I got myself into that mess, I ended up almost messing up my grades. I think I have a problem with backing off and taking things way too seriously. I mean, what do I care if suddenly, people aren't talking with each other anymore? They're still friends with me anyway. But of course, being the stubborn idiot that I am, I just have to butt in and make things better again.

Well, goddamn it.

Sometimes I wish I have the same person too.

Because this?

I don't even know what to think anymore.

As proof of my apparent obsession with Supernatural, I've just seen the latest episode three times in 12 hours. It's freaky and I've practically memorized the lines. Which kinda annoyed my mom, but decided to ignore me throughout. Also, since I'm a nerd, I kept sprouting random info about the show that she decided to ban me from watching Supernatural with her. Hmph. Fine.

ANYWAY.

What is it with the weekend that makes my dad itch for roadtrips? I miss those days when we would stay in and do our own stuff. But noo... he had to crave for some open air, grilled meat and wide space. I swear, he's an outdoor buff or something. Heck, he even wants us to have this restaurant thingy in Marinduque next summer. (Then again, for the sole purpose of enjoying the wide space and open air, I think it's actually an interesting idea. But shh. No telling!) There'll be a problem, though. If he's sending me to Marinduque next year, I mean. Because two months? I'll be missing a lot. Plus there'll be the planning and all. Whew. That would be complicated.

Ave had her party yesterday, which was really fun. I mean, yeah, I was late. Niko was, too. But he just got lost in the area whereas I was really, really late. Bleh. I met Emil for the second time, Stav--well, he's our batchmate!, and Kim for the first time. Really cool dudes... even though Emil's reactions whenever he's killed off were pretty entertaining. We always caught Niko when he was the killer. No offense to him, but it's kinda easy to tell. I don't know about the others but hey, Niko's been my classmate for two years and we've been friends ever since. Also, he doesn't have an effective poker face so...

HAH.

It's a pity Mom and Dad fetched me early, though. But since Niko was riding with us to Edsa, I think it was a good decision. He didn't have to get home late by himself.

Oi.

Stupid thing.

I can't find the post-thingy that I promised to post for Ave. Gah.

I'll just re-write and re-post it. *grumbles*

.
.
.

On to more interesting things...

4x16 On the Head of a Pin

Holy Hell. They broke Dean. Like, effectively this time! With the "You're the first seal" and "We had to break the first seal first before everything else starts falling. Like dominoes..."

Nooooo.

I'm not going to say much because Emil would probably kill me for giving spoilers.

BUT EMIL~!!!

Gah.
 
"Heal him. Miracle. Now."

That was Sammy, half-demon brother, emo Sammy, and he told Castiel that. Isn't it awesome?

As much as I'd want to fangirl over Dean today, I think Castiel was the most interesting character in this week's episode. The choices and the "finally deciding for myself" thingy that he started. Whoa. That's too much for an angel who's been reprimanded for being emotionally attached to his charge? *cough*Dean*cough* (Well, Dean is his human charge. He said so himself.)

My brother sucks.

Seriously.

And I'm pissed at him.

It's one thing to suffer from a headache and a running nose, but it's another thing to suffer all these while trying to study with an idiot of a brother who insists on watching TV in the same room as I am.

Hello. There are four other TVs to use. And what the hell. I don't disturb him when he studies, contrary to what he claims. He can't even prove that I ever disturbed him.

Prick.

You. Can. Only. Type.
One.
Word.
No. Explanations.

1. Yourself: weird
2. Your girlfriend: inexistent 
3. Your hair: uncooperative
4. Your mother: mom
5. Your father: dad
6. Your favourite item: computer
7. Your dream last night: supernatural :)
8. Your favourite drink: caffeinated
9. Your dream car: Porsche
10. The room you are in: somewhere
11. Your ex: gah.
12. Your fear: something
13. What you want to be in 10 years: happy
14. Who you hung out with last night: myself
15. What you’re not: anyone
16. Muffins: ooh.
17. One of your wish list items: DEAN!!! *laugh*
18. Time: scarce
19. The last thing you did: paper
20. What you’re wearing: uniform
21. Your favourite weather: windy
22. Your favourite book: missing
23. The last thing you ate: food
24. Your life: preordained
25. Your mood: blah.
26. Your best friend(s): insane.
27. What you’re thinking about right now: Filipino
28. Your car: boom :)
29. What you’re doing at the moment: breathing
30. Your summer: wild
31. Your relationship status: bleh.
32. What’s on TV: stuff
33. The weather: hot
34. The last time you laughed: earlier


XXX

HBO yesterday: Jared Padalecki.

HBO, Over Her Dead Body; yesterday: Misha Collins.

KYA.

Supernatural obsession. They're all over the place. Wee.

Been AWOL for a while. Couldn't help it, though. So, sorry.

I've been cramming. Like, seriously cramming; it's not even funny anymore. Oh, and I've been staying up late again. As usual. Apparently, when I've gone without sleep for so long, I end up blurting random stuff that would have made me downright embarrassed if I was even "awake" when I was saying them.

Anyway.

My Psych prof didn't FA me, something I'm really thankful for. Kinda makes me look like an idiot angsting about it. All I had to do was give excuse letters for two absences then I'd be fine. Somehow I wish the same thing applies to Mak.

Also, the EPM department paid half of my registration fee for the PIDC, which is on April 15-20. It's scary. Seriously. I mean... first time to debate for real and we're headed to the PIDC? Whoa. I want to hide now. I'm not kidding.

Finals start this week, btw. I should be preparing. But I'm not. I've been so used to cramming, I can't even function properly if I do things earlier than I usually do. Oh, speaking of which. I failed to finish my clearance last week. Ergo, I still don't have my exam pass. So... my PE professor wouldn't be able to sign it. Yey. An INCOMPLETE on my transcript. I feel so lucky now.

*rolls eyes*

My parents found out about the D-warning. They're not so thrilled, of course. Like I care. Man. It feels good to rebel. Just kidding. Okay, so they found out last Friday. Along with my grandmother and brother, who simply couldn't resist butting in.

"Below average ka?"

My brother is awesome, isn't he?

I get it. Having a high grade is crucial, yada yada yada. I've heard that crap before. I can't say I'm not used to it because I have. It's been grilled in my mind since I was in grade school. I got defensive with my absences, though. So what if I haven't been attending to class? The reason I have a D-warning about my absences is I've used all three allowable cuts. That's it. If it's affecting my grade, I have no idea. And I really don't give a damn.

It's not like my 1st semester grade can't drag my 2nd sem grade up, anyway. And I don't mean to be all arrogant about it but it's not a big deal to me. As far as I'm concerned, I'm an average student. I'm not aiming for 5s or 100s. I just want to enjoy studying. So, really.

Last Friday was annoying since they ganged up on me. I can understand that they're just concerned--especially my mother-- but I'm fine. I'll do better. As if they don't know me enough. I guess the only person who did make sense then was Dad. Of course.

Said something about don't pick what areas you want to excel in, or something like that.

AH.

Anyway.

We're going to Batangas this weekend. We went to the same place yesterday. Out of the blue, swimming trip. So now my face is red and is tight. Apparently, we shouldn't forget the sunblock. But since it's impromptu, we didn't get to prepare much. Heck, I wouldn't have gotten wet above the knees if Bobby didn't splash me with seawater. Darn it. That idiot.

Out of contact this weekend. That's about it.

XXX

LOL.

HBO had an interview with Jared Padalecki. I saw it a couple of minutes ago.

*swoon*

Haha.

You're the only ones that I trust with this. I don't need to tell you what to do with what you'll know, okay? Sorry for putting this on you, by the way.

It's not a secret that I love to write. At some point of my life, I even wanted to take up a course that'd make me a better writer--if that even makes sense-- but of course, as usual, I'd have to "grow up" and go for the course that would be financially rewarding in the future. I don't feel so bad about it because really, they're not to blame. I made the decision. I wrote down the course and I agreed to transfer to MC.

But lately, I've been thinking that the person I was in high school? I can't find her anymore. I don't know who I am now and somehow, I'm lost between trying to be this person they want me to become and trying to be the person that I want to be. It's natural to feel this way; I know. We had a lesson about this in Psychology. And I know the consequences of the decisions I'll be making. However, knowing and actually doing something about it are two different things. Right now I can say that I want to be this, that I want to do that when I finish school but it's not as easy as it looks.

I've grown used to doing what they want me to do.

Go to UP.

Pass UP. You have to.

Graduate in a good school. Ateneo, La Salle, UP... pick your poison.

Be the best.

And I'm angsting again, I realize. I'm being bloody ungrateful because see, in the real world? Not everyone can afford to go to college and I should be thankful--I really should--that my parents are able to pay for my schooling. But I can't think about that right now; not unless I find out who I am first, right? I don't even know what I like anymore. In high school, I was comfortable with myself. I had Journ, I had my friends, no matter how few they may be, and I had every opportunity to write; be better. Mom never told me to retain the scholarship, or told my siblings to act more like me so they'd grow up and become intelligent, successful people.

In the first place, when did I ever become intelligent? Successful?

I won in contests, sure. Most of the time, I didn't even know why I won, only that I got called, landed 4th/3rd/2nd/1st place. I passed my subjects; graduated in a science high school. But that's not intelligent. I was grade-conscious, fine, but that was because I was barely holding it in. Heck, I spent three years in that school trying not to be "kicked out" for my grades.

So really.

"Be like your sister."

It's a cliche. It's ridiculous. Sometimes it makes me want to just disappear and never re-appear.

The only thing I got away with was the UP-thing. Mom had been disappointed; after all, she's always told me that I have to get into UP for college. Ever since I graduated pre-school. Long time ago, really. But she let me be. Finally figured out that I didn't want to go to a school that Mom or Dad went to. Because honestly, as much as people would think I don't crumble under the pressure, I really dislike being pressured, stepping up to the plate. I'm not my Mom. I'm not my Dad.

But yeah. They get to choose the course. Sort of, anyway.

I guess what I'm trying to say here is, I want my old self back. I want that person who doesn't give a damn about what she should and shouldn't do. Who can stay still in a room, no matter how quiet and isolated it may be, and do whatever she wants. It's humiliating, all this "woe is me" attitude. But it gets to me. Never thought I'd say this but somehow, I can't even lie to myself anymore. Like I used to. I mean, it's bad, I guess. Denial? Really isn't the best defense mechanism in the world but it had worked. Heck, even the guidance counselor in MC noticed.

It's just not the same.

And lately, I've got way too much time for myself, letting me think about these things when really, I'm not supposed to doubt about what course I should be taking, or question why I'm even doing this in the first place. Studying has become a chore to me and that's something I've been fearing for a long time. It had never been that way because yes, I am a nerd.

The thing is, what I do, I normally do it because I want to. That's why people think I excel in it.

Journ was like that. They never bothered me. Never told me that I should be this, should achieve that.

And debate, right before I started getting their attention after the Deans' Cup, was somehow like that, too. It's surprising because I really don't like speaking in crowds. But I've started to like debating--until of course, they begin realizing that oh, wow, she's getting better. It's time to tell the whole world about it!

I feel bad about complaining. Because all of this? Hey, other people go through this, too. What makes me so special that I should be whining about all this stuff, right?

It doesn't change the fact that I don't know what to do with my life anymore. Once upon a time, I dreamed of going to college, majoring in something I really liked (Forensics, for example) then graduating, enjoying what I've achieved so far. I'd probably be some writer wannabe or something. But still. That was what I wanted.

I guess people just grow up. And when they do, they lose some bits about themselves along the way.

Makes me realize.

I don't want to grow up.

I missed another online exam for Psych101. Holy hell. I am so going to flunk.

Okay.

I'm going to school in a couple of minutes...

I stole this from Emil, who plans to name his first son God. Amusing, really.

So... it's Saturday. Dad isn't here. He's playing softball somewhere in the Philippines. No, really, he is. I didn't know until Mom went home last night and told us that Dad would be gone for the majority of the weekend. I don't know if my siblings rejoiced at the info but well, I kinda had fun last night staying way too late--as usual-- and watching Supernatural with Mom.

Apparently, Friday nights without Dad home are bonding nights with my mother who, even though she doesn't understand the Supernatural plotline, watches the show with me. Who can't stop ranting about what Dean did, what Sam said, etc. I'm sure I gave away way too much spoiler for her; not that she cares. She isn't the type of person who overthinks like me. TV shows are appreciated from their face value. According to her, anyway.

But we all know how different I am, right? Like, different in a weird, bad way. I guess.

So. Supernatural Season 2 last night. Hah. I can't stop quoting them. I told you I talk Supernatural. :))

March 12. Can't wait. And I know I should be worried about my classes, especially Psych because though I was absent for 5 times now, I really like the subject. I just don't understand why the school has to fucking limit our absences that way. It's worse than high school!

Okay. On to the uhh... stolen survey now.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

1: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4. Write down what it says:

"It coincided with the new vision of the Renaissance and the rise of Humanism, and ended abruptly in the middle of the 14th century during the apocalyptic horrors of the Black Death."

- No, this isn't a history book. Close. It's actually a book about Angels, and yes, I know I'm obsessed with Castiel. But seriously, I think it's fascinating how we see angels change over the course of time. With all due respect, I don't think angels are all nice and fluffy, cute little entities. They're powerful, dark when they are ordered to be, and while I'm not necessarily the most faithful Christian there is, I know that they're soldiers for God more than anything.

Therefore, my obsession with Castiel makes sense. To me, anyway. Plus he's adorable. Oh, shut up. He is. Even though he's scary sometimes.                                                          


2: Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first?

Air.

3: What is the last thing you watched on TV?

Wowowee. *dies of shame* Why?! WHY?!! I will never eat lunch with my family again, if they're watching Wowowee anyway.

4: WITHOUT LOOKING, guess what the time is:

2:01 p.m.?

5: Now look at the clock; what is the actual time?

1:58 p.m.

6: With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?

The Fray's You Found Me. I always listen to music when I use the computer.

7: When did you last step outside? What were you doing?

An hour ago to pay the bill. Mom made me do it. *sigh* 

8: Before you came to this website, what did you look at?

My livejournal page.

9: What are you wearing?

White shirt with uhh.. a tiger on it. Shorts. 

10: Did you dream last night?

I don't think so. If I did, I've forgotten about it. Possibility's high, though, seeing that I slept for eight hours for a change.

11: When did you last laugh?

Last night, on something that Dean said. I was watching Supernatural, remember?

12: What is/are on the walls of the room you are in?

Our guitars (mine, Bobby's, Sweet's and Chubby's), a poster with a violin and stuff, the framed medals that I won from the English quiz bee and extemporaneous speaking back in 2nd year high school, wall clock, a shelf. On the shelf is our telescope and my brothers' cars.

13: Seen anything weird lately?

Eh. I watch CSI and Supernatural with morbid fascination. Is that weird enough?

14: What do you think of this quiz?

Good way to pass time. Although I should really be working on something else now.

15: What was the last film you saw?

Titanic. No, really. It was on HBO yesterday. Last film I saw in cinemas, I can't remember. Yes, I am pathetic.

16: If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first?

A car.

17: Tell me something about you that I don’t know.

Back in high school, Avril and I were always teased about being "together". Apparently, we were too close. Sometimes, I get mistaken for her sister. Sometimes she even, albeit accidentally, calls me Lesly. Even over the phone. Haha.

18: If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?

Do something about unfair treatment to the less privileged. Seriously. From all the stuff that I've watched over the past days, I realize that though we have rights and all, those who have the money can still get away with what they've done while those who aren't as fortunate rot in jail.

19: Do you like to dance?

Sure, as much as I like the guy who texted and called me everyday last semester, asked me out on a date and consequently made me lose my cellphone and wallet because I was goddamn pissed at him. *rolls eyes*

20: Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?

Alexa. Don't ask. It just came to me. Then her nickname would be Lex.

Oooh. Kinda reminds me of Lex Luthor. Haha. I'm apparently addicted to Michael Rosenbaum's character in Smallville, too. But hey, Jensen Ackles was in that show for a season. Can't blame me. Besides, Lex Luthor--in that show, anyway-- is an interesting character.

22: Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?

Damien, which I think roughly translates to demon. Really amusing. Because Dad named me after a Greek messenger of the gods, Iris. And well. My son would be a demon. Isn't that great?

Haha.

22: Would you ever consider living abroad?

Only if I have work there. But migrate there? I don't think so. While our country isn't necessarily the best country in the world, our culture pretty much outweighs whatever material benefits I can get abroad. Besides, most of my friends and family are here.

Stolen from Avey.
40 secrets about you. Be honest no matter what.  

[one] who was your last 4 texts from? 
- Mom, Tito Marlo, Sir SD and Sarah

[two] where was your display picture taken? 
- From LJ

[three] who is your loved one? 
- ... JENSEN ACKLES!! Oh wait. Jared Padalecki, too. No. I almost forgot Castiel. All three of them! :))
 
[four] your current relationship status? 
- Obsessing... oh wait, relationship status. EH. 

[five] does your crush like you back? 
- I don't think I have a crush.

[six] what is your current mood? 
- Stressed out.

[seven] what's your mom's maiden name? 
- Yarisantos

[eight] what color shirt are you wearing? 
- White

[nine] are you horny? 
- "*checks head* No horns here." -- thanks, Avey. I stole it from you, btw.

[ten] if you could go back in time and change something, would you? 
- Don't think so.

[eleven] where was the last place out of town, that you went to? 
- Batangas, just two days ago.

[twelve] ever had a near death experience? 
- Yeah.

[thirteen] something you do a lot? 
- Space out. Think. Brood.

[fourteen]who's your best friend at the moment? 
- Ave. Apparently, have been best friends for four years now... Awesome.

[fifteen] who can you tell anything to? 
- it used to be TJ, but... well, some things happened. So, myself.

[sixteen] name someone with the same birthday as you? 
- Cesca, Sir Bacabac

[seventeen] when was the last time you cried? 
- Uhh. December 31.

[sixteen] where are you right now? 
- In front of the PC. Duh.

[nineteen] if you could have one super power what would it be? 
- vanish at will.

[twenty] what's the first thing you notice about the opposite/same sex? 
- What they're doing.

[twenty-one] who is your favorite celebrity? 
- Jensen Ackles. Jared Padalecki. Misha Collins. Johnny Depp. Of course :)

[twenty-two] what is a theory that you believe?
- It isn't a theory. Murphy's Law.
 
[twenty-three] favorite colour? 
- Green

[twenty-four] what is one thing that annoys you on tv? 
- soap operas and cliches like, "Ang kapal ng mukha mo *slap*". Sheesh.

[twenty-five] do you still like kiddy movies? 
- Yeah. Apparently, when you have three younger siblings and two of them are still seriously kids, you tend to get used to watching kiddy movies repeatedly.

[twenty-six] what are you eating or drinking at the moment? 
- Tuna sandwich and water

[twenty-seven] do you speak any other language? 
- English. Tagalog. Supernatural. (It's a language! Haha...) *iz zmug*

[twenty-eight] what's your favorite smell? 
- ...

[twenty-nine] describe your life in one word? 
- Predictable.

[thirty] have any tattoos? 
- Nah.

[thirty-one] what are you looking forward to the most? 
- Meeting Avey and Duaney. Of course. Oh, and going to Psych class on Wednesday only to find out I have just been FA-ed.

[thirty-two] what are you thinking about right now? 
- How I'll lose everything because of one stupid FA. <-- I iz angsting. Ignore me.

[thirty-three] what should you be doing? 
- Writing.

[thirty-four] who was the last person that made you upset/angry? 
- Myself?

[thirty-five] what are you listening to? 
- Lifehouse's You and Me

[thirty-six] do you like working in the yard? 
- Eh.

[thirty-seven] what colour are your nails? 
- ... *picks random color* RAINBOW! haha...

[thirty-eight] do you act differently around the person you like? 
- Not necessarily. But I act differently with different kinds of people. Naturally, when I'm with my friends.

[thirty-nine] what is your natural hair colour? 
- Black

[forty] why did you cry the last time you did? 
- Because.

Unsurprisingly, everyone else I know who joined the field trip today isn't online. We got to Miriam at 9-ish, having left First Gas Power Plant in Sta. Rita, Batangas City past 5 p.m. Today's been fun. We laughed most of the time--which I blame Pallmony for-- and really, if I ever manage to keep a straight face while Sir Puzon is in the same room as I am, it'll be a miracle.

The lecture that was given earlier was seriously boring. I almost fell asleep. I already had my eyes closed, even! But the tour was pretty enjoyable. Oh, and educational. I've never been so informed in my entire life. In terms of field trips, anyway. It's something to look forward to for, you know, future field trips. I mean, I get it that we should also visit historical places and all--but places like power plants? They rarely get attention and whew. It seems that they can actually be pretty interesting as long as you start wondering how this particular thing works, etc.

Sorta panicked when Mom texted me on our way home that Dad was pretty angry because I wasn't home by 7 o' clock. It's annoying, really. I think I understand that he's concerned and that he's only checking up on me but seriously, it's a field trip. It's not like I'm going to several bars and wasting their money or something. Besides even if he checks with Sir Mon, we did have a field trip today. And we really left the power plant at 5-ish. Then we ate dinner, which Sir Mon treated us to. Gah.

I still can't find my reply slip. Mom said it wasn't with her so now I have to look for it all over again. Ate Gloria hasn't forgiven me for messing up the house this morning. Then again, I was already running late! It would have been really helpful if I can just remember where I placed it after breakfast today. Apparently, I can't and for that, I was 20 minutes late.

I'm going to keep this short because I should really work on the outline we'll submit tomorrow for Speech Comm. I'm stalling. Oh, I managed to watch CSI tonight. Awesome. Although the first episode this season is far more interesting than tonight's episode, it's really good I can watch the show. So now, I have something to watch every week. Good, because I really need to use the TV in my room from time to time. Haha.

CSI is a good de-stressor (?!), don't you know?

Lol.

Oi.

I almost forgot.

Sir Mon, thanks for treating us all to dinner today!!

Haha. We shall stalk you when you start working for Palafox full-time. (Once I convince Pallmony and the others to join me in our quest for uhh... stalking! *evil laugh*)

Gah. I'm sleepy, and we're supposed to be in school tomorrow by 7 a.m. to work on the report for our 9 o'clock class. Cramming to the max. Astig.

XXX

Today's field trip made me realize something.

This is the first class wherein I really like all my classmates--exception of two, probably. But they seldom attend class and they can be disrespectful. Anyway.

With this semester being Sir Mon's last sem in Miriam and Ate Hannah and Ate Xma graduating this year, I really think that maybe I don't want the semester to end after all. Wishful thinking, of course. But still, can't stop me from thining that way, can I?

Here I go again. I might as well rant about Journ and high school, like what I've been doing in my other posts.

In conclusion, Pallmony is seriously crazy. I swear, she escaped from a mental facility and the Sir Kiko vs. Sir Puzon vs. Palafox will haunt me forever. I shall fail to keep a straight face in front of them ever again.

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? Nope. I was named after a flower for reasons only known by my dad. T_T

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Like heart-wrenching crying complete with hiccups and stuff like that? Can't remember. Must have been a long time ago. OH, September 28, 2008. The day after the orchestra thingy. After the phonecall. 

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Yes, it's okay.

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Eeeeeh...? Is it cooked?

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? Yes, because I'm the queen of England and I live underground. OF COURSE I DON'T!

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Maybe. If I learn more about myself and decide that I like myself enough to consider being friends. Wow, that's freaky.

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM? Nope, that's why I get called a smart-ass by my mom.

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? *calls* Yep, they're still there. I think.

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Sure. That would be cool. Would be cooler if I'm with my friends.

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? KOKO KRUNCH!! (Poof and it became Koko Krunch! Hilarious.)

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? Nope. I'm lazy, remember?

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? As long as it's Rocky Road, it's fine.

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Who they're with, the first thing I hear them say. Then physical appearance.

15. RED OR PINK? Red. Definitely.

16. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? I tend to complicate stuff.

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? The Journ staff, Deadly Sins. TJ.

18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO COMPLETE THIS LIST? Sure.

19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? white

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? Nina's I Don't Wanna Be Your Friend. (What the heck?! Un-shuffle now! *glare*)

22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Dark green-ish. Haha.

23. FAVORITE SMELLS? crispy paper bills? hahaha... no, seriously: newly bought journals

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Avril.

25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? Yep.

26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? Baseball. Probably basketball. Sometimes football.

27. HAIR COLOR? Black.

28. EYE COLOR? Dark brown.

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? Nope.

30. FAVORITE FOOD? Pizza! Oh, and my dad's grilled meat. They're awesome.

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Scary movies, or happy endings. I like both, but not together.

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Oh, gosh. I don't remember. I'm so lame. :))

33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? White.

34. SUMMER OR WINTER? Winter. I love winter.

35. HUGS OR KISSES? Hugs.

36. FAVORITE DESSERT? Chocolate cake. :)

37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Avril:"Iris and Emil." (Right, dude.) I don't know.

38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? TJ. T_T

39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? my Psych book. Oh, and the one our English prof assigned: I Kissed Dating Goodbye. Someone kill me now! *groans*

40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? the mouse. Duh.

41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT? last night was Sunday.. so, nothing. I only watch the news and on Wednesday nights, CSI and Smallville.

42. FAVORITE SOUND(S)? My friends' chatter. Music, as long as it's not rap or Chris Brown, Ne-Yo, Rihanna, Sean Kingston-ish. Gah.

43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? Beatles. Blame my dad.

44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? Without my parents? Baguio. Yes, I am lame that way. With my parents? Marinduque.

45. DO YOU HAVE SPECIAL TALENTS? Writing, probably. Or, my addiction with complicating things. As I've said.

46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? In a hospital. Heh. *iz zmug*

47. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK? Anyone.

48. HOW DID YOU MEET YOUR SPOUSE/SIGNIFICANT OTHER? HAHA.

***

How old do you wish you were? I'm fine with being 17. I'm turning 18 in a couple of months anyway, so I'm okay.

You can choose one famous person to have dinner with (ALIVE OR DEAD) who will it be?  JENSEN ACKLES. Ahahahahah. Or Jared Padalecki. Or uhh... Misha Collins. Maybe all three of them! It's just dinner anyway.

What would you order for your last meal? I don't know. Pizza? What? I love pizza!

What would be your dream vacation? France, on my own or with my closest friends. England after that, then Spain and Germany. Oh, and then Vancouver to see the Supernatural set. Wee. Haha. Obsessed.

What do you consider your worst attribute?  Didn't I answer this before?

What do you consider your best attribute? I don't know.

What job would you like to spend your working life doing?  Copyreading. Haha. It's insane. But really, I'd like to be a forensics expert. Seriously now!

What is the one thing you would like to be remembered for?  Stuff I've done for my family and friends. Yes, I can be a sentimental idiot at times. Shoot me.

If you were a color, which would it be?  Green.

If you were a dog, what breed would you be? German sheperd! Ahaha. Or a golden retriever.

If your life were a movie; would it be a comedy, drama, horror story, Science Fiction, or porno flick? Comedy, I guess. Oh, and drama. Because some people I know tend to be melo-dramatic enough.

You are part of a meal;  What course are you.  Appetizer, main course, or Dessert.  I don't know. Can I just be the wine or something?

If you worked in a circus, what job would you hold?  Can I not work in a circus?

If you had to lose your sight or your hearing, which would it be? Sight. I'd rather hear. I'm more scared of not hearing anything. It cuts you off from your environment.

Statement:  I wish I could read minds.  Yes or no, and why.  No, it's better being left to wonder. I'd rather not know.

If you could not stay in this time frame, would you go back in time, or move into the future?  And why.  The past. I miss a lot of things from my past.

***

1. CAN YOU COOK? Yeah, some. Surprising, isn't it? And no, I didn't burn the house down.

2. WHAT WAS YOUR DREAM GROWING UP? cop, lawyer, detective, archaeologist, writer, forensics expert

3. WHAT TALENT DO YOU WISH YOU HAD? Singing. Or, uhh... playing the guitar as well as my brother does.

4. IF I BOUGHT YOU A DRINK WHAT WOULD IT BE? soda! or chocolate chip frap from starbucks

5. FAVORITE VEGETABLE? ugh.

6. WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ? Hah. And haven't finished? I Kissed Dating Goodbye. Bleh.

7. WHAT ZODIAC SIGN ARE YOU? Scorpio

8. ANY TATTOOS OR PIERCINGS?Where are they on you? None

9. WORST HABIT? Forgetting things.

10. IF YOU SAW ME WALKING DOWN THE STREET WOULD YOU OFFER ME A RIDE? Yeah. Of course. Then I'd make fun of you because I'm an awesome best friend.

11. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SPORT? Chess, badminton and softball.

12. NEGATIVE OR OPTIMISTIC ATTITUDE? Negative. But I tend to be apathetic most of the time. What happens, happens, regardless of what'll happen afterwards.

13. WORST THING TO EVER HAPPEN TO YOU? Let me count...

14. TELL ME ONE WEIRD FACT ABOUT YOU: I don't wake up from my nightmares. I finish them.

15. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS? Not anymore. Rabbit died.

16. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF I SHOWED UP AT YOUR HOUSE UNEXPECTEDLY? Let you in, of course.

17. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST IMPRESSION OF ME? Quiet, anti-social, shy.

18. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU WERE STUCK IN AN ELEVATOR WITH ME? Be insane. As usual. We tend to do crazy stuff when we're together, dude.

19. DO YOU THINK CLOWNS ARE CUTE OR SCARY? As long as they're not staring at me with a knife in their hands and that annoying, godforsaken smile on their faces, they're neither.

20. IF YOU COULD CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT HOW YOU LOOK WHAT WOULD IT BE? My feet. I don't know why. Random.

21. WHERE IN THE WORLD WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO WITH ME? Anywhere.

22. WHAT COLOR EYES DO YOU HAVE? Dark brown.

23. EVER BEEN ARRESTED? Heck no. Innocent until proven guilty. Hahaha.

24. BOTTLE OR DRAFT? Or. *iz zmug again*

25. IF YOU WON 1,000,000 TODAY, WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH IT? LET US SPEND IT ALL. Haha. Kidding. Give it to my mom after I buy stuff that I want from it. She'd know what to do with it.

26. IF WE HAD DINNER, WHERE WOULD I TAKE YOU? How should I know?

27. WHATS YOUR FAVORITE BAR TO HANG AT? I've only been to one bar and that's because Mom and Dad wanted to drink beer there. The Cruise in MoA.

28. DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS? "There's no such things as ghosts." - Avril. Probably, probably not.

29. DO YOU SWEAR ALOT? Oh yes.

30. BIGGEST PET PEEVE? Anyone threatening my friends/family. I can be pretty protective of them.

31. IN ONE WORD, HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF? Random.

32. FAVORITE THING TO DO IN YOUR SPARE TIME? Think. No, seriously. Remember, I like to complicate stuff? Oh, and zone off. Write, too.

33. WHAT WOULD BE OUR SONG? uhh... Make It Mine by Jason Mraz? Hahahaha.

34. WILL YOU REPOST THIS, SO I CAN FILL IT OUT AND DO THE SAME? Heh. 

Castiel is considering disobedience.

KYAA.

I am insane.

XXX

Anyway, I now know why I've been having these stupid headaches lately. Apparently, I am the most self-destructive teenager in the face of the planet to my grandmother. Hah. She always tells the doctor about my poor sleeping habits. Why is everyone making a big deal about it?

Regardless of what's really wrong with me, at least I was right about one thing. It's the stress and though the neurologist told me that I should avoid the reason behind these headaches, I think I shouldn't. It's not like I can avoid it, right? I mean, seriously. It's stress. Something normal. But I guess things have really been stressful. And it wouldn't be a big deal if I channel it into something else.

Mom made me take another personality test. It's not like the number of times I take a personality test would change the fact that I'm the INFP kind of person. But hey, anything to appease her, right?

Oh, and I was pissed at my brother earlier while we were waiting for the doctor. I hate going with him. He gets so freaking impatient that he drives me nuts! It didn't help that I wasn't being patient, too, but he started it! (Right, because I'm being mature right now and not blaming him.) I don't understand how he could easily ask stuff from our parents and grandmother while I have to worry about how what I want would affect everyone. Honestly, it's annoying.

And I'm really not jealous. Hell no. I know how hard my dad could be on my brother. But gah. Sometimes I think that it's unfair. He gets to have anything he wants because of dad's "unfair treatment" to him while I have to be reminded that I have to keep the scholarship. Oh, and it better be a 50% scholarship. Goddamnit.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I wish he feel the slightest grateful that he isn't subjected to worrying about stuff like scholarships and all. He doesn't have to worry about giving anything up because well, guess what, his older sister's stuck with that stuff! He can ask for money to buy whatever he wants while I can only ask when I absolutely need it--and when I can't afford it myself.

Damn it. I really think it's unfair.

I'm angsting. Gaaah.

We went to Daddy's grave yesterday, Family tradition. And although the entire trip was uneventful--except for Mom waking me up just to annoy me--there was one time when we were talking about Mom's new job. I asked her if it's okay that I only get 25-35% scholarship next semester. I guess it kinda hurt when she told me that I can't. That I still have to maintain the 50%.

Because I really don't want to do it anymore.

I'm probably the most insensitive daughter in the world. I'm sure I'm not the only one with this problem, after all. But gah. I want everyone to back off. I can't be what all of them want me to be. I can't keep following them just because I don't want to disappoint them.

Then again, the thought that I'd disappoint any of them really hurts.

What the hell is wrong with me?

Help?

My title is long and funny. Hah.

I was supposed to rant about the impromptu trip to the doctor's office where we had to wait for two hours but hey...

I was lurking in Youtube earlier again. And guess what? Guess what!!!

So, Supernatural is on hiatus, right? And it starts on March 12? Awesome. Because gaaaah. I haven't even seen the episode but the trailer rocks. Oh, and Castiel's there. Finally. Wee.

"He had it coming. He had it coming. He had it coming all along..."

No, sorry. LSS. Again.

Had the Dance Kinetics thing this afternoon. Had fun even though I probably humiliated myself in public again. Then again, that's not much of a problem since the highlight of the day was our celebration of Patring's birthday. Totally awesome, by the way.

We went to Rodric's in UP to eat. Talked about random, nonsensical stuff and laughed at jokes that aren't even that funny. All in all, I don't understand why when all five of us are there, we just sort of, you know, explode with laughter. It's quite funny. Apparently, we're crazy as hell. Not that it's a bad thing. Just you know, a thing. Which is good. I think.

Haha.

Speaking of dances, I love Section 13's dance. Somehow, their story was clear. And it made sense. Plus, they danced to the beat.

(Limewire is going loco on me. Darn it.)

Ginny and I went to Choco Kiss. Bought cake. Went to Sunken Garden. Panicked because I was supposed to be home by 6 p.m. And I was still in UP by then. *sigh*

Anyway, today's been fun. Despite the trouble we've been through for the past days, everything's been enjoyed and I guess, that's what's most important.

Now, I have to cram on my term paper in Psych because I am a good student that way.

Hah. Got this from Emil.

Mine is going to rate higher than his. :P

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Start with 100% and subtract 1% for everything that you've done. Then repost as you're __% innocent.

01. Smoked
02. Drank alcohol
03. Cried when someone died.
04. Been drunk.
05. Had sex.
06. Been to a concert.
07. Gotten/given a hand job.
08. Been verbally/sexually harassed.
09. Verbally/sexually harassed somebody.
11. Felt someone up and/or been felt up.
12. Laughed so hard something came out of your nose .
13. Cheated on a boyfriend/girlfriend before.
14. Been cheated on by a boyfriend/girlfriend.
15. Been to prom.
16. Cried at school.
17. Gotten lost in a Wal-Mart or a department store.
18. Went streaking.
19. Given or received a lap dance.
20. Had someone of the opposite sex in your room.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 91

21. Had someone of the opposite sex sleep over.
22. Slept over at someone of the opposite sex's house.
23. Kissed a stranger.
24. Hugged a stranger.
25. Went scuba diving.
26. Driven a car.
27. Gotten an x-ray.
28. Hit by a car.
29. Had a party.
30. Done drugs.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 89

31. Played strip poker/darts/pool.
32. Got paid to strip for someone.
33. Run away from home.
34. Broken a bone.
35. Eaten sushi.
36. Bought porn.
37. Watched porn.
38. Made porn.
39. made beans.
40. Been in love.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 88

41. French kissed.
42. Laughed so hard you cried.
43. Cried yourself to sleep.
44. Laughed yourself to sleep.
45. Stabbed yourself.
46. Shot a gun.
47. Trash talked someone and then acted like their best friend the next day.
48. Been online for 9 consecutive hours.
49. Watched TV for 9 consecutive hours.
50. Watched an animal die.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 84

51. Watched a person die.
52. Kissed somewhere with at least 1 person present.
53. Pranked somebody.
54. Put somebody in the hospital.
55. Snuck into someone's room and/or your own room after being out.
56. made spicy beans.
57. Dressed punk.
58. Dressed Goth.
59. Dressed preppy .
60. Been to a motocross race.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 83

61. Avoided somebody.
62. Been stalked.
63. Stalked someone.
64. Met celebrity.
65. Played an instrument.
66. Ridden a horse.
67. Cut yourself.
68. Bungee jumped.
69. Ding dong ditched somebody.
70. Been to a wild party.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 77

71. Been caught stealing something.
72. Kicked/punched a guy in the balls.
73. Stolen a boyfriend/girlfriend from a friend.
74. Gone out with your friend's crush .
75. Got arrested.
76. Been pregnant.
77. Babysat.
78. Been to another country.
79. Started your house on fire.
80. Had an encounter with a ghost.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 76

81. Donated your hair to cancer patients.
82. Been asked out by someone that you never thought you'd be asked out by.
83. Cried over a member of the opposite sex.
84. Had a boyfriend/girlfriend for over 2 months.
85. Sat on your butt all day.
86. Ate a whole carton of ice cream all by yourself.
87. Had a job.
88. Gotten cut from a sports team.
89. Been called a whore.
90. Danced like a whore .

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 74

91. Been mistaken for a celebrity.
92. Been in a car accident.
93. Been told you have beautiful eyes.
94. Been told you have beautiful hair.
95. Raped somebody.
96. Danced in the rain.
97. Been rejected.
98. Left a restaurant without paying.
99. Punched someone/slapped someone in the face.
100. Been raped.

FINAL: 70 %

-----------------------------------------------------------------

HAH. I knew it!

Anyway, Chai's debut officially closes all my activities this weekend. Valentines' Day was good, considering we were in the debate competition in UP Manila. We had fun there, by the way--even though we didn't get to make it to the quarterfinals. Had fun debating on the celebration of gay lingo. Seriously. It was fun.

I'm glad Chai and Yana are okay now. Sheesh. I was so worried. But I guess sometimes you really can't do much. Sometimes it really depends on the people.

Worried about the film-viewing tomorrow. They might ask for an excuse letter from me and I forgot to ask for one. Then again, I can say that I really couldn't go to the film-viewing last Saturday. Besides, I told my professor that I won't be able to make it. She should have forwarded it to the NSTP office.

Oh, whatever.

First things first (because someone is going to scold me for being out of bed), I feel kinda better now. I also succeeded in scaring my grandmother and little brother at the same time this morning... so, I feel like a jerk right now. It's not like I was going to kill myself with a pillow. That's just insane. My head really hurt that time anyway.

Okay.

Now, onto being a klutz.

I slipped couple of hours ago. Sorta fell. Stupid stairs. Then I tripped on the carpet downstairs. Apparently, my hand-eye coordination has evaporated. Heck, I'm not even sure if my brain--yes, it has been returned from the fish's belly, unfortunately--is working. Probably not. Basically stayed in bed half of the day, sleeping. But when I started dreaming about psychotic clowns who can't be seen unless you're a kid and who kill adults, I kept waking up. Clowns. Was never afraid of them, but sheesh. Murderous clowns are disturbing.

I couldn't sleep after my last 'oh-look-at-me-i'm-a-clown-and-i'm-born-to-kill-rawr' dream so my little brother decided to sit on me until I play with him. Which was a bad idea because I hit the wall trying to run after him. I hate myself today.

Wall.

Did I mention I hate walls, too?

Grandma found out, sent me to bed and practically locked my room. She even took my cellphone and my pens. When I remembered that Kenni was expecting me to send her the script of whatever Brahmin-Sudra love story she requested last night, I had to sneak out again. Hah. It's a good thing she didn't catch me. So. Yeah. Indian caste system. It's simple to understand but man, there are way too many things to know.

I'm still looking for some stats that we could use for tomorrow's compet but I'm not having much luck. Makes sense. I coul have found a lot by now if I can understand what they're saying.

Brain, yoohoo. Where are you?

Oh, right.

(So far) latest klutzy moment:

Spilling my glass of water onto my clothes and food.

Right.

Friday the 13th. Happy.

.
.
.

on another note (and i can't believe i'm still saying this), Jared Padalecki's movie premieres today!! Ironically, it's titled Friday the 13th. Hah.

I feel dizzy now. Goodbye.

Idiot.

I founy my i.d., after getting a violation and missing a quiz in Filipino, that is.

And guess where I found it?

In my bag.

The same bag that I used yesterday. But I swear, I searched for it yesterday and it wasn't there. So yeah.

I'm torn between laughing and being pissed at something right now.

.

.

.

Oh, and I accidentally cursed in front of my Math prof when I was leaving the classroom. It just so happened that I found the stupid thing after his class ended and when he was in front of me. Bloody hell.

Can anyone tell me if I desecrated cat tombs in my past life for a living? That'd make sense. Karma and all...

The revenge of the mummy cats.

Freaky.

I lost my school I.D.

Which is awful because that means I have a violation now.

Aside from the debate training, this day has been suck-ish. My head still hurts and I swear, if I slam it on the wall, the wall'd crack. For some unknown reason, I think my brain was never fully restored and lead decided to fill up my head in its place. Which would have been useful if I was, say, on the never-ending quest of leaving cracks on the wall and suffering headaches everyday. But you know. I'm not that masochistic. I think.

So far, P.E. practices are bearable. I can't grasp on some steps, as usual, but hey, at least I attended. Then again, it's hard to work on your hand-eye coordination when you feel like dropping dead and never waking up ever, right?

Mom apparently dislikes the idea of me going to school when I'm sick. And hell, I thought no one figured out that I was sick last night. Except for Avey. Then again, I told Avril that I didn't feel good and that I was signing out because I was dizzy. So she doesn't count. But seriously, who knew anyone in the house noticed that I slept earlier than usual last night?

Okay. So maybe my definition of early isn't similar to theirs but last night was absolutely weird. I slept at 9-ish. Freaky. And I still feel sleepy despite that. Oh, and I woke up at around 3 a.m. because I forgot to disable my alarm clock then I went back to sleep only to wake up 3 hours later. :))

We'd be debating for our Finals in Speech Comm. Can't say if I'm excited but it's better than taking an objective exam. I don't know. I guess I have this notion that when it's a speech course, you're supposed to worry about your speaking skills and not how good you are in objective exams. Or maybe I still haven't gotten over the fact that Sir SD's exams were always application ones and not objective.

Gee.

No wonder I got a D-warning.

Which reminds me. Quiz on Thursday. Darn.

I should go home. Right.

Yeah, maybe I should.

Avey is worried.

Right.

I'm self-destructive.

And we had training, fortune-telling and elections today. Is all.

Oh, and according to the fortune teller, I should settle in a course that allows me to talk/persuade/sell ideas. Gee. Why am I not surprised? :))

Okay. I'm really logging out now because I feel bad. And I want to throw up but I can't. It's official. Feverish.

I have an idea for Avey's request, too. Awesome. >:)

Okay. So update. Hmm.

Well, I still haven't seen My Bloody Valentine yet. Planned to watch it today but plans change. Was supposed to go to Divisoria this morning with M.P.G.S. but for some reason, the trip was canceled. Election today, too. And the fortune-telling thingy for PSY101. We have debate training this afternoon. Attendance is a must. Found out last week that I'm still competing in the M.I.N.T.

Nervous. Oh no, not again.

Anyway.

Chai's debut totally clashes with the MINT, though. And I still have to ask permission from my dad to let me go to the debut. I don't know if he's going to allow me, after all I'd be gone for two days what with the competition taking place in Manila. I hope he allows me and I really want to go. It'd be so unfair if I miss Chai's debut. I don't even see her that much nowadays and the other sins would be there. I don't know about Anuie, though. Last time we talked about the debut, she'd only go if I go... and I'm not even sure about that. Gah.

Also, next, next Saturday, we'd be having our Dance Kinetics thingy for P.E. It takes up a great part in our grade and I really don't want to flunk. However, it's dancing and holy hell, I really don't want to dance. So there's conflict and I don't want to resolve this conflict at the moment. Heck, I've still to worry about getting the steps right. Apparently, missing practices isn't good..especially when you suck at dancing. I hate dancing. For real now.

I received a D-warning from my Speech Comm class, which is totally ironic, by the way. My grandmother didn't believe me. She would, eventually. Once she gets the letter, anyway. My mom would kill me and she'd tell my dad. I hope no one blames debate for this. Or my obviously sucky sleeping habits. I mean, seriously, why does it always boil down to the fact that I don't sleep earlier than 2 a.m.? Hey, I still function in the morning, don't I? So what's the big deal?

My department chair talked to me last week, after the championship round. Said that we should have debated with Ate Kim as our whip but I insistesd that Ate Mori was the only available debater (who went to the last two trainings). I have my reasons for choosing Ate Mori and I still feel bad that he doesn't trust me with decision-making. He gave me the responsibility of training them, shouldn't he at least trust that I know what I'm doing? But since we lost, I don't think he understands that even if Ate Kim were the whip, we'd still lose anyway. Sheesh.

Moving on.

I just found out that one of my friends is gay. Like really. And he couldn't supress the surprise when I told him how awesome that is. Okay, so maybe I'm a freak about this but hey, it's not everyday one of your friends tell you you're gay. And after years of pairing him and my other friend up! So amid the bad news I've been getting since Wednesday, that is incredibly welcomed. It's a good thing he doesn't have a Multiply account because he'd flay me alive if he sees this post.

Man, that guy rocks. :))

I haven't seen the latest episode of Supernatural yet. It's already available in ch131.com but I just can't find the time to stay in front of the PC long enough. Or well, my dad's still here so that kinda sends my plan of watching the episode out the window. Computers are obviously invented for the sole reason of providing information and helping out on schoolwork. Damn it. And I really wanted to watch. So, this weekend, instead of sleeping early, I stayed up late (as usual) to read some fics and write a chapter of some still-untitled fic.

I have no life.

But that's not new, is it?

It's 11-something now. I'm thinking of logging out and preparing for this afternoon's activities. I don't want to, though. And I still want to go back to sleep. Unfortunately, after Kuya *insert name here* -- heh, I forgot his name-- delivered our water with me asleep in the sofa-bed downstairs, I don't think I actually want to embarrass myself all over again. He pinched my cheek like I was a kid, too. Just to wake me up, I guess. Why do people here like messing with me when I'm asleep?

*is exasperated*

Well, anyway, that's it. If I missed out on some more info--

Oh wait.

There was a Burger King in MC last week. I miss BK. Really. But it's still more expensive than McDo so I'll be sticking to McDo and Jolibee, I guess. Also, my mom is annoyed at me for having a lot of things to pay for. Totally understand. It's not like she's the Central Bank or something. But I can't help it, they always give us something to pay for. Which totally sucks because I could have spent the money on something else. Better things, that is.

Right. We're required to watch this show for CWTS on Saturday. I won't be going of course, but it only intensifies my hatred for that subject. I also dislike my professor, so that's that.

Wow, it's February already.
 
Had the Championship round of the Deans' Cup this morning. CA won. We lost. End of story.

It was fun, even though I was too nervous to actually concentrate.

Anyway, since it's the beginning (sort of) of another month, I guess I can say that I'll start writing again. I love debating and all, but really... it's been a long time since I last wrote something. Excluding essays and school requirements, that is.

There's this guy. Right. Because it's always about a guy these days... (okay, so it's not Jensen Ackles this time...)

Nevermind.

Guess what?

Jared Padalecki, who plays Sam in Supernatural, is the host of MTV's new show, Room 401! Haha. Jensen Ackles' movie, My Bloody Valentine (3D) premieres tomorrow and I'm so tempted to cut class and watch it. I won't, of course. Because you know, my professor was this close to giving me an FA but he didn't. So yeah, I owe it to him to well.. not cut his class. :))

Plus, I don't want to miss out on the lesson.

Gee. I'm such a nerd. Why am I not surprised?

Speaking of, courtesy of Emil (but really, I know about Friday the 13th last December), Jared Padalecki's own movie, Friday the 13th, screens on February 13. That is so...

YEY!

.
.
.

By the way, while the debate really fried my brain, I think the CA team deserved to win. Congratulations!

The week's finally over and we just had the semi-finals round of the Deans' Cup--it's Saturday already?!!!--yesterday. Can't count the number of times I panicked but I seem to do it lately. Wow. Also, I realize that noontime game shows should be watched from time to time just so uhh... I can get a glimpse of what actually goes on in these shows. Darn. It's actually embarrassing to watch them sing off-key and dance awkwardly, you know. But hey, that's what they know. At least they perform, right?

Right. Apparently I haven't gotten over our topic yet.

So yes, we're competing against CA on Tuesday for the Championship. Scary. No, wrong word. TERRIFYING. Ate Camille's a part of the CA team. And I don't really want to debate against her because well, she's Ate Camille! :)) (That wouldn't come out as an effective argument to a lot, but it does to me.)

Got home at around 2-3 p.m. yesterday and even planned to sleep. Heck, after four days of rushing on schoolwork, researching and panicking, I think I deserved an afternoon nap. I obviously change plans often because we went to McDo right after I dumped my stuff on the sofa-bed thingy in the living room and changed clothes. Sheesh. I didn't even get to watch Supernatural. *pout*

Oh, speaking of which...

I am officially watching Smallville now. And it's not solely about Jensen Ackles this time. Hah! I'm improving. Okay, so maybe I might have fangirled over him as Jason Teague more than I'd expected and maybe I was distracted by what he's saying to even focus on the plotline but hey, this is the first time I'm watching it. I'll just focus on the other components of my would-be obsession next time.

(Note to Self: Watch Supernatural later this morning. You're practically banned to go out anyway. Sort of. Unless it's a family-related event, that is. Biased, much?)

What the hell am I going to do with the PE practice on Monday?!!

Training vs. P.E. practice

Gah.

OH, and I heard about Dr. Sadsad's supposed promotion. Rather disappointin. I'd rather see her sacked from her position rather than be promoted. She doesn't deserve that. They're also sending a wrong message to the public--that educators like her do not necessarily face the consequences of their actions and pay for them justly. Bad example; don't follow.

Still. Disappointing.

Right.

I'm going to sleep now because I'm low on caffeine and I really, really want to go to sleep. I'm surprised I'm not even in bed. Whoa. Surprise, surprise.

O.o

Instructions:

* Next to each number, write the name of the person who fits the description.
* Answer one question with one name.
* Don't reveal the questions to anyone who isn't doing the meme. Those who want to know what the questions are must do the meme on their own blogs, on pain of wrath from the meme gods.

1. Duane
2. Jerry
3. Yana
4. Ginni
5. Sarah
6. Jeno
7. Larisse
8. Angelo
9. TJ
10. Grace
11. [no comment]
12. Karen T.
13. Kim (from MC)
14. J.Lo
15. Jolo!
16. Mak
17. Myrza
18. Isay
19. Ate Kasey
20. Niko
21. [......]
22. [......]
23. Sir Puzon. T__T
24. Yana?
25. o.O
26. O__O
27. Avril
28. Yana
29. ... *evil grin* Jensen Ackles!
30. Hi~! *waves*

:P

I should be studying and I was.. a couple of minutes ago. But this, I can't not react to. Episode 13 is up tomorrow and I can't watch it. Darn it. And I found out that while Kripke and the producers of SPN decided to make Cas-- CASTIEL!!!!-- a regular of the show, he isn't appearing until March.

Avey would have a field day if she finds out.

:(

I miss Casitel.

:))

Okay, that's it. I'm really studying now. Bye.

Deans' Cup is partly over. The EPM team is moving to the semi-finals. I can't say if I'm ecstatic or worried. I'm nervous, right. But I'm more concerned about my grades right now than the debate on Friday.

Didn't go to class all day since I was watching the other debates. We were the first debaters so we had until noon to be excused. Professor in EPM101 allowed me to cut his class, though. I don't know about the CWTS-1. Sheesh. If I get another FA, I'm going to flip.

Duane's birthday yesterday. Awesome day. Won't elaborate, Avey mentioned the best parts of it anyway. Would have been nice if I didn't have to cram the moment I got home, though. I'd say I hate cramming, but I love it with a passion. Fine, I'm just lazy. So what?

Who doesn't cram, really?

My brain is officially mush. It's been fried, trampled, cut into pieces and electrocuted this morning. Heck, just watching the other debates go was laborous enough. I just had to study Psych tonight. So yes, goodbye brain.

So sleepy.

I'm going to sleep like the dead now. And the alarm clock will not wake me up until it's 7:45 a.m..

Day 1 of the Exposure trip is over. Yes.

Wasn't as exhausting as I had intended. Damn. And I was really looking forward to collapsing with fatigue. Okay, so I was dizzy most part of the day and I almost dropped dead uhh... twice (but of course, no one noticed because I usually stray away from them). Still..

We went to the mosque. Most memorable part of the trip. I don't mean to offend, really, but man, it's either the Muslims hated us, we were covering our faces wrong or they just wanted us to convert to Islam but we didn't want to. So anyway, it was really unnerving to go around the mosque with a lot of people staring at you. And yes, men were staring at us. It was uncomfortable and scary. We got stopped uhh... once, I think. Our guide was asked why Christians were seeing the mosque. Tension ensued.

Oh! We went to this pagoda-looking building that belongs to the Ocampos. It really looked like a pagoda, you know. As it turns out, seamen are paying for lodging there now. We went in, of course. Oh. More uncomfortable-ness. Haha.

Quote of the day: "Walang mudo."

Reaction: "Ano ung mudo?"

How was I supposed to know it was referring to 'modo'?

Oh, and whoever taught me to say 'rota' instead of 'ruta' for 'route' is totally dead. Just kidding. Seriously, though, I should work on my Tagalog. It was embarrassing. Apparently Sarah thought it would be fun to have us play a game where I'm banned to speak in English. It didn't push through, seeing as we were so distracted but still...

Ruta.

DAMN IT.

Fast forward to after lunch. DVD. Yes. I wanted to buy Season 1-6 of Smallville because it's interesting and I haven't seen it ever. Plus, there's Tom Welling. Anyway. So I wanted to, but I didn't because obviously, I didn't bother to bring money when I knew we were going to Quiapo. If it helps, Mak didn't bring money either! Hah. So I'm going to buy tomorrow. Yey. Hopefully. Haha.

Got home past 4, much to the people's surprise. They thought I was going home at 6. Lol. I finished my lunch and watched TV, switched to AXN Beyond. Dark Angel was on.

Guess who I saw?

GUESS!!

.
.
.

JENSEN ACKLES.

*dies*

I'm in heaven.

Haha. Not really, still...

For the record, I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Dear Self,

You suck.

No, I'm not on drugs. I'm not drunk either. But really, you suck. In a span of five days, you have used all your allowable cuts for Speech Comm (because you realize you really aren't a morning person) and you've used up two out of three for your Psych101 class. I applaud you. That, I'm afraid, is only the tip of an iceberg, so to speak.

Because you know what?

Fridays aren't MC's free days. You don't have classes on Mondays, not Fridays. Which simply means, you're supposed to wake up at least an hour and a half BEFORE your first class. Not fifteen minutes before. And didn't you promise to stop the caffeine intake?

Yet you drank two cups last night. You are insane.

As for that, I will not be talking to you. Oh, and you just got FA-ed in Stat. Quite amusing, really. First Math subject that doesn't send you running to the hills and you get an FA for missing it today. I should give you an award.

That's all for now, I guess. After all, I'm the one who's going to explain to the parents why you have an FA on your record. Great.

Love,

Me.

XXX

Okay, now I'm in a fouler mood. Stupid migraine.

1. Right after earning the rather puzzled/troubled (read: DISTURBED) looks from the people in the cinema when you shouted 'kiss already!', you realize that Marty and Alex could REALLY pass as a gay animal couple.

If yes: animals can be homosexual with others, sure. But please, go see the doctor and avoid G-rated movies for the sake of young, innocent kids.

2. You go to class on Finals week, head to the seat next to the window and when the professor comes in, muttering "Bags at the back" or "No erasures", you think he/she is an alien from the planet of the Apes. (Or worst.)

If yes: I don't blame you. I think so, either.

3. There is absolutely no way that Tom Cruise/ Brad Pitt is hotter than Captain Kirk. Like EVER. Seriously.

If yes: ... I know a good psychologist. Do you want his number?

4. You just witnessed a lover's spat and when they look at you, total stranger that you are, you're either incredibly amused or crying miserably like a child. The woe of love lost!
 
If yes: If there was name-calling involved and uhh... "don't leave me, please!", I wouldn't blame you. But that's just me. The world despises cynics.

5. The professor holds up his fingers, gestures them to show he's referring to money and asks the class, "What do economists count?". You don't raise your hand, or look at your classmates. Then you answer, rather confidently at that, "Fingers."

If yes: Ouch.

6. You're in a bus with foreign students who do not understand English or Tagalog. They're speaking in their native language, which you apparently don't understand, and so you talk to them. With the universal words: "Blah. Blah. Blah. Blah. BLAH!"

If yes: I did that when I was a kid. I almost got sent to a child psychologist. The worst that can happen, though, is that they think you be mistaken as an illegal alien.

7. Coffee is water. Trufax. Which is why you're currently on your 15th cup and it's only 7:15 in the morning.

If yes: You're not insane. You're suicidal. Take a break!

8. Dude, seriously, the wall is staring at me. Cut it out! You're challenging me to a staring match? You're ON!

If yes: ... *groans* headache...

9. You're in Baguio and you think it's better to take a bath at 3 A.M. and go to sleep ten minutes later because everyone would try to take a bath at 5. That's when you wake up, by the way.

If yes: I know it's better to take a bath at midnight. But better watch out for those empty cubicles. You'll never know...

10. You stopped eating chicken, or using utensils because they refuse to agree with you that they don't have rights. Oh, and you think your pen despises you because you don't think pens are supposed to have rights, either.

If yes: If Congress passes a bill about inanimate objects' rights, they have every reason to despise you. However, seeing as that's not going to happen, you should be very disturbed that you're imagining OBJECTS disagree with you.

... nah. I think they shouldn't have rights, too. Well, maybe pens. Yeah, definitely. Pens.


XXX

I was late for Speech Comm class. Technically, I just used my last cut today. Twenty minutes late eh. So lesson for the day: Don't wake up at 10 A.M. when you have to commute and be in class at 10:25. That's useless.

Oh, and great. I only have one class today. FREE CUTS ARE AWESOME. But I stayed for two hours because I thought we had training. Darn. I would have cut Speech Comm and not go to school altogether if it weren't for that.
 

What we know:

• four students were suspended for blogging against the principal
• their entries supposedly destroy the school's image
  
• Dr. Betty Cavo insisted on "freedom and responsibility"
  
• Dr. Sadsad saying, "buti nga 10 days lang ang suspension".
  
• students are entitled to freedom of expression and speech according to Article 3, Section 4
  
• the 10-day suspension begins on Monday
  
• the Philippine Star cited scientiaetvirtus.multiply.com as an example of the blog

First of all, do the students even deserve such punishment? Suspension may not be as bad as expulsion but it does not appear as the best solution to the problem. What do we have here? We have four students who have written entries about the school, revealing more than any administrator would like, and probably encouraging other students to start caring about what's going on in their school. Granted that from time to time, they have used names against the principal (and some members of the faculty), we must accept, though, that their claims are not as baseless as everyone would think. A seemingly incompetent administration, unreasonable requirements from teachers and removal of award-winning school paper advisers can frustrate any student.

Freedom and responsibility go hand-in-hand. There's no argument in that. We can't deny that the students have done something wrong--specifically calling those in their entries names-- but we should also consider that they're not just ranting. They're not just saying things about their school because they were bored or angry at someone. There are actual issues. The school could have at least considered these issues before suspending the 4 students. If criminals get a trial in court to justify themselves, why can't these students have their case looked into? Why are the reasons behind their actions considered unimportant that the school takes extra steps to ignore them?

For the past three days, QueSci has been on the news. The Philippine Star has writen an article about the students and has, unfortunately, used scientiaetvirtus as an example of the blog. I hope I'm wrong but the blogsite in question does not belong to any of the 4 students. According to the owner of the blogsite, he is a member of a group who do well in hiding behind a false name to go against the school administration. The pictures are degrading, even for Dr. Sadsad. All those pictures attack the person's character and not what she did. What ever happened to objectivity? To relying on facts?

Scientiaetvirtus harbors hatred. However, it lacks the reasoning. For the four students to be associated with this multiply site is horrible, especially when I'm sure these students have done their best to conceal their entries as much as possible--after all, the entries were limited to certain individuals only-- and keep them as fact-based as possible. There were probably instances where they slipped with the name-calling, but they're human. They shouldn't be associated with the ones who own scientiaetvirtus, though.

What's disturbing is, since the Philippine Star cited scientiaetvirtus and nothing else, anyone who's interested would just click on the said site and instantly believe the students deserve the punishment. No, they don't.

It just so happens that I'm sleepy as hell, completely unprepared and unwilling to go to class tomorrow.

My brain is missing. Can anyone help me look for it? I swear, it must have gotten lost amid the clutter on my study table. Speaking of study tables... imagine you know what state of mess my table is in right now, what would it look like?

a. Khufu's pyramid in Giza, the mini-version
b. a tall, tall mountain
c. a Chemistry experiment gone wrong
d. an oil spill

Frankly, I don't know where I'm getting all these ideas. But considering the fact that I've long gone insane plus my brain's currently AWOL, I don't think it's even a surprise for anyone anymore. Sigh. (Dare to self: Post this entry without referring to Supernatural, Jensen Ackles, Jared Padalecki or Misha Collins.)

XXX

My parents asked my sister how her day went. My translation of their question, because I was being a goofball earlier: "Paano pumunta ang araw mo?"

It's a good thing I could still control what I say. Because really, I don't need any of their 'don't be a smart-ass' lectures from either of them tonight.

To self: How did your day go?

So-so. Mom kicked me out of the car in front of the blue bridge in Ateneo this morning because I didn't want to go to school. Okay, maybe force wasn't used but gee, ever heard my mom use that reprimanding, daring tone on you? It's not scary. It just gets us into arguments because I am a stubborn idiot who wants to get more sleep in the morning and in the car but can't because of school. Damn it. Did I mention I really hate mornings? Oh, especially when I'm deprived of caffeine?

P.E. was hilarious. Sort of. Egyptian dance. I love Egypt and all but me? Dance? Are you kidding me? As if the one we had last semester isn't bad enough! Farewell, dignity.

Lemme see.. Speech Comm. Got no complaints. I have no idea why. I didn't go good in the reading test--because I didn't want to and I wasn't in the mood to be a good student-- and I didn't answer the question asked of me regarding the book we were reading. I never pay attention to the titles of each chapter, you know. Not my fault. Book's 'I Kissed Dating Goodbye' and I still have issues with it.

Seriously. I think it's angry at me, as well. Oh, whatever.

By the way, I am officially sick with the Alabang Boys controversy. Don't mean to offend, but gawd. You don't cram every possible information you have about the issue in an hour. That's just plain suicidal--PS2 crashes* good one, Bobby... and they call me a klutz?-- so apparently, since I just did that during lunch break today, I am suicidal. My poor, poor brain. No wonder it went missing.

EPM and CWTS. All in the same room. Different time, of course. Different films. Still, it was so cold. What's the use of a sweater if you just leave it in your locker? Lesson learned.

Now, I am absolutely sleepy. But bet you, I won't be sleeping anytime soon.

Not studying, either. Lost interest since uhh... new year. Great.

Tomorrow's January 14, right?

(Duh.)

.
.
.

Prelims week. Maaaan... I hate exams now.

Oi!

January 14!

Supernatural starts again on the 15th! Yey.

XXX

To self: You were supposed to keep a Supernatural-free entry. Even this once.

I still can't over the fact that Jensen Ackles sings.

Anyway, I am clumsy as hell today. Good thing I'm not in the house. Spared myself a couple of hours before anyone notices. Good, good. Someday I'm going to promise never to sleep later than midnight again but it's common knowledge that I'm going to break said promise. What's the point?

Also, the Deans' Cup is on the 27th. Don't know who'll represent our course yet. I really hope the seniors take up the two slots. I can easily ask for a pass. I don't think I'm ready to debate. I don't think I've ever been ready. Crowds make me uncomfortable. And I know I can be talkative but after what happened over Christmas break, I don't think I'd ever get accustomed to people listening to me speak. It's rather upsetting because I did try my best. But hey, that's how things go, I guess.

So yeah... I still don't know what I'm going to do. Great.

 

Psychoanalyze Yourself: Don't read ahead, just copy and paste the following BEFORE you read the answers. Then answer the following questions one at a time WITHOUT LOOKING AHEAD with the first thought that comes to mind. Then read what each answer means at the end.

1.You are walking in the woods. You are not alone. Who's with you?
-- Avril

2. You are walking in the woods. You see an animal. What kind of animal?
-  an owl (don't ask why)

3. What interaction takes place between you and the animal?
- we're staring at each other... for quite a time

4. You walk deeper in the woods. You enter a clearing, and before you is your house. Describe your dream house.
- a simple well-kept cottage complete with a fence and a chimney

5. Is your dream house surrounded by a fence?
- yes

6. You enter the house. You walk into the dining room and see the dining table is covered with:
- lots and lots of files and books, because i'm a scatter-brained that way

7. You exit the house and a cup is on the ground, what kind is it?
- one of those antique ones that you don't want to break ever

8. What do you do with the cup?
- i pick it up and put it on top of the dining table

9. You walk to the edge of the property where you find yourself standing at a body of water.What kind is it?
- a lake

10. How do you cross that body of water?
- a boat


(Don't look at this section until you've answered the top)

+++++++++++++

The ANSWERS

1. The person who you are walking in the woods with is the most important to you.
- seriously? whoa.

2. The size of the animal is representative of your perception of the size of your problems in your life.
- uhh... how big is an owl, really?

3. The severity of the interaction you have with the animal is representative of how you deal with your problems.
- so, i just face my problems long enough until i get bored staring. that's it? wow, i amaze myself. and to think i'm the one who has the shortest attention span among us three.

4. The size of your dream home is representative of the size of your ambition.
- o-kay. so, simple and well-kept. cool.

5. A lack of a fence is indicative of an open personality. People are welcome at all times. The presence of a fence indicates a closed personality. You'd prefer people not drop by unannounced.
- if you say so.

6. If your answer did NOT include food, or people, then you are generally unhappy.
- HAH. people on top of the table? duuuude. hey, just because i don't have food on the table--uhh, nevermind.

7. The durability of the material with the cup is representative of the perceived durability of your relationship with the person in number one.
- i still don't get it.

8. What you did with the cup is representative of your attitude.
- okay. so i put it on top of the table. what does that mean?

9. The size of the body of water is representative of the size of your relationships.
- haha...

10. The way you cross the water is representative to how easy or hard you expect your life to be.
- fine.

XXX

What I realized: Psychoanalysis is not for me. (Apparently it's for sane people who can survive a 10-item test without being a.) sarcastic; b.) stupid; or c.) both a and b.

And yeah, I think I've answered this test before.